mémoire

part sept

Sam stayed after school for book club and Castiel couldn't come home with Dean that day because he had to take Anna to the doctor, so Dean went home alone.

Earlier in the day, Dean had been called to the office to talk to the counselor because his forms had finally come in.

He pulled the application helper out of his bag and set it on the table, looking down at it with apprehension. The school preferred the applications to be submitted online, and Dean had a little less than a month to do this.

He pulled out his laptop, typing in the school site and clicking through until he found what he wanted. Bobby had already given him his credit card number for the application fee. He entered it to purchase the application and quickly scrolled through it to see how long it was. His heart was pounding as he started to fill out the applications, taking his time to think things through.

When it came to be time to head down to the studio, Dean took his school bag with him, along with his laptop. He could work between classes and while his own students were practicing.

The first thing Dean did when he got to the studio was change. As soon as he was in his dance clothes, he looked in the mirror and took in a deep breath, holding it for a second before slowly letting it go. He rolled his neck while walking out of the bathroom, almost bumping into Ellen.

"Ellen! I- uh- have a question."

"It about college?" Ellen asked, glancing at Dean. She was heading behind the desk they kept in the lobby of the studio.

"Yeah," Dean replied nervously. "I need two letters of re-" Ellen held an envelope out to him. "Are you serious? You already had it written out?"

"I have since last year, Dean. I know you want to get it, and I'll be damned if you don't. You're cut out for it, and you definitely deserve it. I can take over part of the classes tonight if you need to work on your application."

Dean stared at Ellen, a smile sliding across his face. "Thank you, Ellen," he breathed. "Thank you so much."

"Nah, kid, it's no problem," Ellen smiled, then pointed at Dean. "I expect to dance with you in the last recital though. Farewell dance for my best student."

"Gladly," Dean grinned, holding the letter with both hands. "You choreographing or am I?"

"I am. You'd put too much in for my old body."

"Whatever," Dean laughed, following her into the room where classes were held. He set his bag against the far wall, sliding out of his normal shoes and starting to lace his Pointe shoes up.

After classes, Dean had a fourth of his application done. He went home and took a quick shower, said a goodnight to Sam, and texted Cas for a few minutes before dropping into bed and sleeping until morning.

Every chance Dean got for the next week, he worked on his application. Every step closer he got to being finished was a step closer to college, a step into the anxious part of himself. When he was anxious, it wasn't pretty, either. Sam, luckily, understood when Dean was scared and apprehensive and backed away, but Castiel didn't. He kept asking Dean what was wrong, and every time he did, Dean told him it was nothing. It's not like he wanted to lie to Castiel, but it was more like he had to. He didn't know if he would get in, and if he didn't get in, he was screwed.

While Dean was writing his essay on Sunday, his phone started ringing. He hit answer and picked it up, typing while holding it to his ear with his shoulder.

"Hello?"

"Dean," Castiel's voice greeted Dean. Dean frowned. Cas barely ever actually called him, he usually texted.