mémoire

part dix

Dean and Cas didn't get any free time until after the snow had melted and until it was spring. The weekend following Dean's return was too soon, the weekend after was the dance recital, and the weekends after that were full of college applications and homework. The most time they got together was the weekends when Dean helped Castiel with his applications, and then a short date after school on Valentine's Day.

So, near the end of March when they finally made a reservation on an empty weekend for a hotel in Kansas City and Sam made plans to stay at his friend's house that night, Dean and Cas were ecstatic. Eager to leave town, they piled into the car and left quickly.

Once they reached the hotel, they went up to their room and dropped onto the bed, lazily kissing. Finally, finally, finally, a weekend where it could be just them, alone and happy and care-free.

Dean, however, had a little bit of care. He had vowed to himself that he was going to say it this weekend. He'd gone too long just thinking it and he couldn't continue it. It had to come out somehow.

Both pulled apart after a few seconds, Dean finding himself on Castiel's lap. His hands were tangled in Castiel's hair, holding Cas close as possible. Castiel let his nose drag against Dean's gently, his lips dragging at Dean's. Dean smiled slowly, settling himself so he was more comfortable on Cas, and slowly kissed up Castiel's chin. In his mind, he whispered after each kiss.

Kiss.

I love you.

Kiss.

I love you.

Kiss.

I love you, Cas.

Dean kissed Castiel slowly, hands running out of his hair and onto his cheeks, a smile settling into the kiss as well.

They pulled apart again, this time slowly, still savoring the moment. Castiel groaned softly, head dropping onto Dean's shoulder. "God, that was amazing. I missed that."

Dean laughed. "It was just kissing," he murmured against Castiel's hair, even though he knew it wasn't just kissing. It was definitely something more, and Dean never wanted that something more to stop. He watched his own fingers comb gently through the hair at the back of Castiel's neck, the smile still plastered on his face.

"Oh," Cas kissed Dean's shoulder. "I know. It just... It doesn't feel like it. It feels like more than kissing."

It was like Castiel had read Dean's mind. "I know," Dean sighed, burying his face in Castiel's shoulder as well. He felt Cas's hands rubbing at his back and smiled, leaning into the touch without realizing it.

A few hours later, the couple was sitting against the headboard of the bed, watching a horror movie that Castiel had chosen to put on. Dean was yawning and leaning against Castiel's shoulder, barely paying attention to the movie. He instead was focused on Castiel's hand, watching Cas's thumb moving across the base of Dean's thumb. He blinked slowly, looking around the dark room and smiling.

Dean couldn't believe they'd done this. He'd never gone on a weekend away with anyone he'd dated, let alone dated anyone for this long. Plus sharing a hotel bed? It wasn't like they didn't share a bed when they stayed together, but damn. This was different for some reason. It was more official. A sleepy grin crossed Dean's face and he closed his eyes, head on his boyfriend's shoulder. God, this was already shaping up to be the perfect weekend.

A sudden movement woke Dean up. He sat up quickly, immediately looking at Castiel, who was looking at him with wide eyes. "What?" Dean asked, concerned, watching Castiel. "What happened? Why did you jump?"

A scream sounded in the background and he suddenly understood the humorous glint in Castiel's eye. As Castiel started to laugh, Dean felt his face heat up. "Cas-" he tried, but Castiel was laughing too hard. "Cas!" He still didn't get a response. After a minute, Castiel was still laughing. Dean sighed exasperatedly, staring at Castiel. "Cas- Castiel- Cas, dammit!"