His Solace (Book 3) (On Hold)

Chapter Twenty

Not edited. Ya'll don't hate Simone. That is all. :D

Chapter Twenty

We pulled up to my apartment around eight o'clock. Lee hadn't spoken a word to me since we had left his place and he had offered me a ride home. I hadn't tried to make any conversation, I knew that it was all my fault that there was even tension between us in the first place, but I didn't know how to fix it, didn't know if I even could fix it.

As he pulled the car into an empty parking spot in front of the building, shifting the car into park, we both sat in silence, the sound of Summer's soft breathing in the background as we waited for the other to speak, but neither of us did. I glanced down at my lap for a second, wringing my fingers together unsurely before I unbuckled my seat belt and reached for my purse.

Just as I was ready to make a run for it, Lee's voice cut through the silence, stilling me. He took a deep breath before breathing out. "Simone," he started, his voice above a whisper as he addressed me, "If I made you feel uncomfortable earlier, I'm sorry. I had no right doing that, and making you feel uncomfortable was never my intention. I shouldn't have been so..straightforward." He said slowly, "I kind of have a problem when it comes to saying what's on my mind. I'm not really the type to take other people's feelings into consideration too often, I guess you can say that i'm a little blunt for a better lack of words."

I went over his words in my head a few times, trying to bridge together what I wanted to say, but if I was being honest with myself, I was still too embarrassed to even look at him after the way I had freaked out on him earlier at his place. But I knew I was going to have to look at him sooner or later. I liked Lee, I really did, or at least I thought I did. I wasn't entirely sure whether or not I liked him because of his rockstar persona and the whole 'He's famous' thing he had going on, or if it was because he had showed me a different version of himself during the few times we had spent with one another. I was scared that maybe I was getting the two confused and that what I thought was me liking Lee, was actually just infatuation and nothing more.

As I finished fighting my thoughts, I turned to him, my eyes still not meeting his gaze as I spoke. "Lee, you didn't make me feel uncomfortable. If anyone should be sorry it's me. I just freaked out on you and I'm..embarrassed." I admitted. "It's just that..I don't know if I really like you, or if I just like the idea of you. I mean, if i'm being honest with you the guy that I had been at the fair with a few weeks ago was a guy that i've had a one sided crush on for forever, and you show up and now my feelings are just all over the place." I threw my hands up, "How do I go from liking one guy to crushing on another in less than a week? What kind of person does that make me?" I wanted to yell, but didn't, "I don't know if I really like you, or if I just like the idea of you. I keep trying to separate the two, but it's like the harder I try, the more confusing it gets. What if i'm just being superficial and the only reason I think that I like you is because you're famous?" I asked, not knowing the answer to that question myself, or maybe I did? Heck, I didn't know anymore at this point!

The side of Lee's lip twitched upwards a bit. "Simone, I think that you already know the answer to that question. If you've had to think about it, then you know the truth." He said honestly, "but do you want to know what I think?" he questioned, turning his eyes to me.

"What?" I asked, not sure whether I wanted to hear his answer.

"I think that you're overthinking this, overthinking everything. I know I don't know a whole lot about you, but I'm good at reading people. I'm pretty sure that you're not the type to go after a guy just because he's famous and has money."

"and how do you know that i'm not the type?" I said back, skeptically.

He smiled. "Because if you were the type," he said slowly, "you wouldn't still be here in my car second guessing every little thing," he motioned a hand, "the engagement, spending time with me, your own feelings.." he trailed, "plus, if you were the other type of woman, you'd probably have gone to every news reporter in the city by now and told them all about you and I spending time together and whatnot, you know, the juicy details." He said, a hint of amusement lacing his words.

"I would never do that." I replied back quickly.

He watched me. "I know." he replied back, "That's how I know that you're not that type of person. I know I can trust you, but I don't want us spending time together causing you anymore confusion. If this really isn't what you want, a relationship with me I mean, then I won't bother you. I promise." He said with a look of sincerity in his eyes.

I watched him quietly for a while, thinking of every possible reason why being in a relationship with him would be a bad idea, and I found a few good key reasons..but as he stared back at me, I couldn't help but ignore the voices that kept telling me it wouldn't work. If it doesn't work, then it doesn't work, and that would be the end of it, I told myself, but if it did.. I thought, I'd never know unless I stepped out of my comfort zone and tried. What did I have to lose?

Everything, that voice said again, you'd lose everything..your privacy, your life, your heart..

I closed my eyes for a moment, urging my beating heart to slow down. When I felt calm enough to speak, I opened my eyes slowly, bringing them back to Lee's to see him still waiting patiently for my response. I sighed.

"I can't promise you that I won't freak out on you again."

Lee continued to watch me patiently, "and?" he asked, as if he knew I wasn't finished.

I took a deep breath. "and I can't promise you that i'll be okay with everyone knowing about..you know." I eyed him, "I just, if it doesn't work out..I don't want people knowing. I'd like to keep it quiet," I said watching him to gauge his response, "Just for now, until we know that it'll work." I rushed out quickly, feeling my cheeks heat.

"Is that all?" Lee said after a moment.

I nodded. "Yes, that's..it."

Lee removed both of his hands from the steering wheel, taking my hands in his as he held them over the console. He watched me for a moment as if he were waiting for me to say something else before he grinned widely, his eyes twinkling brightly as he gave my hands a small squeeze, "I can live with that," he replied, "For now."

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Okay, so I probably changed this chapter about three times. So I hope this version is good. xD