Girls Love

Useless unrequited love

I fell in love.
It was a useless unrequited love.
The way she smiled, talked and interacted with me, made my heart skip a beat.
I told myself many times, "It's just a friendly approach, there's no meaning behind it. Don't let it get to you"
I still didn't listen to myself.
When she was near, I tried to be the best version of myself.
Unknowingly I started acting dumb, when she made a joke I would giggle uncontrollably.
When she smiled, I gave her a bigger smile.
When she hugged me, I would talk so the hug would last longer.
I did my best to delay on the projects so she'll talk to me.
My stupid heart was happy, she was becoming a big part of my happiness. I tried to tell myself that she was like the sister I never had, this unrequited love of mine was slowly killing me.

However, what ended up breaking my heart was the moment she announced her engagement.
The news came too fast, too hard, too unfair.
How could she? With who? Why?
Many questions pestered my broken heart. I tried avoiding the places she would be at. But I couldn't avoid her forever, I had to face her someday. That someday came too soon.
I got asked to make a video, for a project and she was also part of it. Meaning we would have to communicate often. I couldn't refuse, so I ended up seeing her.
At the same time I saw her fiancé, my eyes rapidly traveled to his fingers, in search of the ring. Ring I saw, and I soon felt worst.

Time passed and I got along well with her fiancé. I felt like an hypocrite.
I was in love with the person he was getting married to. But it was like betraying my own heart. How could I smile and laugh with him, when on the inside I cried?

The worst thing was how she kept treating me. Her actions somehow got more closer, maybe it was just me who thought this, but I had facts.
When I tried avoiding any contact, she would purposely approach me, she would tilt her face so I would give her a kiss on the cheek, or she would hug me.

When she hugged me, I was always scared that she'll hear my frantic heart beats, or my one sided thoughts.

Even now, I still sit behind her. Seeing her back felt enough, there was not much I could ask for. I knew that if she turned we head, and looked at me, she would smile brightly. That alone, filled my heart with joy and sadness. It would remind me.

I fell in love, in a one sided, unrequited and sad love.

<The End>