Polar (Erejean)

Answers

Neither Jean's mother nor his father called out to us as we left. Silence filled the house as we made our way out, only for it to be shattered by the sound of Jean slamming the door behind us.

Armin still sat waiting in his car, his attention turning to us as we left the building. He shot me a worried look, his brows furrowed together a little, whilst Jean just strode past him without giving a single glance.

I gave Armin a slight shrug, quickly communicating my uncertainty of the situation, before running over to Jean.

"Wait up! Where are you going?"

"Don't know," he answered, the words coming out as a mumble. He kept his gaze set forward as he walked, his steps long and quick. "Just wanted to get out of there."

I nodded, deciding not to say anything else for the moment. I considered reaching over to hold his hand as we walked but ultimately decided against it, thinking that Jean was too riled up to want to engage in such affections. Instead, I kept my hand dangling at my side and kept my focus on just keeping up with Jean's pace. It wasn't until we had reached the pavement along the coast that I tried to say something again.

"I'm just gonna ask so I'm on the same page or whatever; is your mum properly out of hospital now?"

"Seems that way," he answered bluntly, his eyes still refusing to meet my own.

"And your dad is back home with you...?"

Jean scoffed. "Back with me specifically? No," he said, before turning off to jump down onto the beach. He walked a little ahead of me, his hands now shoved in his pockets, and I was left to trail behind him.

We walked along the beach awhile until we reached the end, where a pile of large rocks surrounded a cliffside. Without a word, Jean began climbing up onto the boulders, somehow making the whole act look effortless. I, however, struggled a little as I scrambled my way up, almost losing my balance on multiple occasions.

We didn't go too high up - only around ten feet or so - but it was still unnerving, to say the least. We moved around the cliffside, over to where we were no longer visible from the sand. Thankfully, at last, Jean sat down, his forearms resting on his bent knees as he stared out into the ocean. Carefully, I sat down beside him, crossing my legs and looking over in the same direction as he did.

I couldn't even manage another minute before speaking again.

"This place is nice," I blurted, mostly just trying to make regular conversation. "How did you find it?"

"I was just trying to find a place to draw once and I ended up finding here," he said simply, his voice a lot calmer than it had been previously. He sighed, then, looking downwards for a moment before speaking once more. "Go on, then. I know there must be a bunch more questions you want to ask, and I'm sure that that wasn't really one of them."

I gave a small nod, unsure if he really didn't mind me asking but deciding not to question it. Still, I felt abnormally nervous about talking to him about such things.

"Your dad seems like a dick."

Jean snorted. "That's not a question but, yeah, he is."

"I still don't understand, though," I added, looking over to him. "You said he doesn't want you around but does that mean he's kicking you out or is he trying to get your mum to move away?"

"Honestly, I have no clue. He kind of suggested both ideas when he came back home with mum." He bit his lip, then, suddenly looking worried. "I don't know. It makes no sense to me why even puts up with him - not even just that, she actually still loves him, too."

I looked him over, trying not to let my concern for him show. "I'm sure it will work out," I said quietly, reaching over to hold his hand. To my relief, he didn't pull away.

"I hate him so much," he whispered, finally looking up to meet my gaze. "I can't leave her, though, Eren. I can't abandon her like that."

"I know," I said, and gave his hand a small squeeze. "Is he, uh, okay with her?" I asked, not too sure how to word what I meant.

"He's never hit her or anything if that's what you mean," he mumbled, looking back out at the sea again. "He's a dick, but I'm not necessarily worried about leaving her alone with him. I just..." he trailed off for a moment, his voice quiet and full of uncertainty. "I just don't want to be yet another person in her life who leaves her."

I glanced down, biting down on my lip as I contemplated whether or not to say what I was thinking. A quiet sigh slipped past my lips, my gaze returning to meet Jean's. "When you say another person, are you referring to your dad or...?"

"You want to know who Marco is," he stated, his voice quiet.

I gave a small nod. "You mentioned him earlier and your dad kinda flipped out," I explained, and when Jean didn't respond I prodded him further. "Who is he?"

There was a long silence, then. Jean just stared down at the rocks, his brows furrowed in an expression that I could only assume suggested concentration. I ran my thumb over his hand, hoping my question wasn't too much for him.

"He was my brother."

My brows perked up a little at that, the word 'was' running through my mind over and over again. It made sense now why Jean's dad said he hadn't been acting normally for however long. Still...

"That's insane," I breathed, "how could I not have known about him?"

He shrugged weakly. "Mum is the only one who really ever likes mentioning him. When I realised she was going to be staying in the hospital for a long while, I took down all the photos she had kept up of him and put them in a drawer."

I gave another nod, understanding where he was coming from. "Awhile after my mum died, I did the same. I don't know, I couldn't bear to see her face everywhere. I felt like if I was always thinking about her then I would never be able to live normally again."

He gave a hum of acknowledgement, though it was so quiet that I could barely hear it over the sound of the waves crashing below us.

"Your brother," I started, looking Jean over as I spoke, "can I ask what happened to him?"

"I'll tell you, just not right now," he responded tiredly.

I didn't try to get him to speak any more than that. Instead, I simply pulled him closer, wrapping my arm around him as we peacefully watched the ocean. I don't know how long we spent there like that; it somehow felt like forever and only five minutes both at the same time. As much as I knew Jean was hurting, and that at the back of my mind there were still questions urging to be answered, I actually still managed to feel content in that moment. As long as I was with Jean, that was all I needed.