Polar (Erejean)

Goodnight

The calm feeling that Jean and I had built up whilst watching the waves was eventually shut down by the sound of his phone going off in his pocket. After a moment of consideration, he pulled it out, a small sigh slipping past his lips as he did so. It was a text from his mum - and a long one at that. I barely had enough time to skim over it before Jean shoved the device away again, his expression morphing into something of annoyance and anger.

She was going to stay here for a couple more days, with Eric, before leaving to stay with him for a while to 'see how things go'. How long 'a while' was supposed to mean, I didn't know, but there probably wasn't a short enough time for Jean to even consider being okay with it.

"Let's get out of here. I need some food."

I just nodded in response, not minding the idea. I hadn't eaten since breakfast - and even that was just a small orange to get Armin to stop bothering me about it. I hated eating before going on long car rides

To my surprise, we ended up going to the same cafe that Mikasa, Armin and I always go to. I didn't know how I felt being there with Jean again, given that last time it had ended in a fight. At least, I guessed, we could make some better memories there. Though, given the circumstances, that was probably unlikely.

Jean bought the food, as per usual. I tried to convince him otherwise, given that my dad was slightly more involved in my life nowadays, but Jean just waved me off. I didn't bother arguing after that.

Eventually, we ended up back at my place, both of us knowing that there was no way Jean was going to stay anywhere else tonight. It was dark by the time we got there, though it wasn't too late. Given the way he had been acting, I expected Jean to want to do something to distract him. Instead, though, we ended up going straight to bed, with Jean borrowing some of my clothes to sleep him.

We slid our bodies together as the room filled with darkness, Jean's arms wrapping around me as I faced the other direction. I didn't sleep though, too busy trying to silently make sure that Jean was okay. After a long while, I heard a sigh slip past his lips and felt his arm lift up to his head. With a slight hesitation, I turned on my side to face him, our eyes meeting immediately.

"You're still awake," I whispered.

"So are you."

"I'm still awake on purpose, though. You're not."

"Guess I'm just not tired," he said matter-of-factly, his shoulders shrugging slightly as he spoke.

I knew Jean well enough to figure that he was full of shit and just trying to pretend that he was fine. "Cut the crap, Jean," I spoke, my tone softer than the words would suggest. "Talk to me."

He looked down, away from me, his features for once softening. I hadn't seen him look so vulnerable since the day Mr Ackerman gave him that damn maths test. I hated seeing him this way but I would be lying if I said I wasn't relieved; at least it meant he wasn't going to just bottle everything up.

"I can't stop thinking about everything," he whispered, his body shrinking in on itself a little as he spoke. "The more I think about it all, the worse I feel about my mum leaving me to live with him. I mean it when I say I hate him, Eren. He's the reason for everything bad in my life."

I reached over, gently tugging on one of his arms that he had wrapped around himself and placing his hand in mine. "Can I ask why?" I asked hesitantly, before adding, "what did he do to you?"

"Nothing," he answered, and I felt myself relax ever so slightly as he spoke. "He never did anything to me. As a kid, I was actually kind of close to him." He paused then, taking a breath before letting out a shaky sigh. "I hate him because he hated Marco."

I chewed on my lower lip, thinking back to the few conversations that Marco had been mentioned in. It was already obvious that Eric hated him, of course, but there was something else that he said that still lingered in my mind.

"Your dad, when he mentioned him, he used a different name - Mara, I think-,"

"Marco," he corrected, his tone harsh as his eyes shot up at me.

I raised my brows slightly, a little taken aback by the sudden change in tone. "Sorry. I know it's Marco, I just mean, well, that's what your dad called him, right?"

"Yeah, but my dad is a fucking asshole," he retorted, pulling his hand away from mine so he could prop himself up a little.

"Yeah, I /know/," I said, sitting up as I spoke. "I was just asking. I mean, fuck, it's pretty obvious your brother was trans or something."

"Yeah? So fucking what?" He shot up into a sitting position, his eyes narrowing as he practically spat his words out at me. Before I could say anything, he was already talking again. "Marco was the best person in my life and my so-called father treated him like shit ever since he came out. He put up with so much crap from /everyone/ and I swear to fuck if you think that-."

"/Jean/," I interrupted, and, surprisingly, he actually stopped speaking. "I don't think shit, okay? Whatever your brother put up with from anyone was bullshit and they're all assholes. I swear I didn't mean anything bad when I used that other name. I'm just trying to understand."

He opened his mouth to respond but quickly shut it again, his expression softening a little. Leaning back against the headboard, he pulled his hands up to his head. He gave an irritated groan, though it seemed that it was directed more towards himself than it was towards me. Finally, after calming down slightly, he replied.

"Sorry," he mumbled, his gaze lifting up to meet mine. For a moment, it looked like he was going to say something else, but he stayed silent. Instead, he just reached down, linking our fingers together. Somehow, the action felt a little forced, but I appreciated it nonetheless.

"It's okay," I sighed, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "You must have been really close to him."

"I was," he said, a small smile appearing on his face for what was probably the first time that day. "We did pretty much everything together."

"I wish I could have met him."

"So do I. I think you would have liked each other."

"I'm sure we would have," I said, smiling a little. Just as Jean was about to respond, he cut himself off with a yawn. "Come on, we should get some sleep."

"Whatever," he mumbled tiredly, moving down to lie on his side.

I gave him a gentle kiss before lying down as well, wrapping my arms securely around him.

"Goodnight, Jean."

"Goodnight."

~~

A/N

Sorry this took so long. If you didn't know, I actually recently released an erejean oneshot! It's called 'The Catfish' and I'm quite happy with it, so please feel free to check it out.

Also, I'm going to be finishing this story off sometime soon, so if you have any ideas/requestions for a new fic, feel free to comment!