SAJANG : AMBW

Shake it up

Sevyn's POV

"How are you sleeping these days?" My therapist questions

I decided to get a therapist to help me get my life together. I realized that what I went through was a bit too traumatizing to just brush it off as If I'm fine.

"I didn't have that nightmare last night so I was actually able to go to sleep." I state

"That's great to hear. That means our sessions are working. You have made significant progress since your first 6 appointments." She smiles

"What if I told you that today would be your last session. Would you be comfortable with that?" She asks

I look down at my hands.

"No..." I answer

"That's perfectly fine, I just wanted to see if you were ready." She states and begins writing in her little book.

"How much exercise are you getting?" She questions

"Well, not much...I don't really leave the apartment unless Somi or Moon are with me." I reply

I was supposed to start working with Somi but once I had that nightmare. I realized I needed to get help before I start shaking ass. But tonight I am supposed to go and audition for a position. I'm kind of excited but I'm also worried about what people will think of me.

"Why don't you go outside alone?"

"I-I'm kind of afraid to go out by myself. I know no one isn't going to hurt me but I start to get really bad anxiety at the thought of going outside by myself." I say

She continues to write in her book.

"Is there anyone else in your life you feel as if would pose a threat to you?"

I know Jae would never hurt me...Jin, surprisingly I'm not afraid of Jin.

"No, I think it's just...I sometimes feel like Sangmin is still watching me. I know he is dead but I can't shake the feeling." I sigh

"So, here's what I want you to do...challenge yourself. Venture out a little more each day by yourself. Start off with walking around your apartment complex lobby...then another day, take a little stroll down the street." She suggests

"Remember to take it at your own pace." She states

I nod in response. That didn't seem like a bad idea.

"Is there anyone who you feel really understands you and is close to you? Maybe speaking with them could also help you."

This is what I hate about therapy. She always ends up asking really deep questions that really make my emotions come out. I guess that's the whole point of this.

The first person that popped into my head was Jae. Not Somi, not Moon, but Jae.

"Jae used to be that person but like I mentioned before...we don't speak anymore." I say biting my lip

"When you broke things off with him, how did that make you feel-"

"Sad." I immediately answer