Star Wars Preferences

86| When You Make a Dirty Joke

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⚠️ 18+ chapter ⚠️

Obi-Wan: "What does a penis and a rubik's cube have in common?" Obi looked flabbergasted, he opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He didn't trust where it was going.

"What?" He asked, rather slowly.

"The more you play with it the harder it gets-" You started before Obi's face turned into a flushed pink and asked you to be quiet. He said there were probably younglings around and that the council wouldn't agree with such a joke.

Anakin: "What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?" He raised one of his eyebrows in almost a suggestive way as a small smirk came on to his face.

"I don't know what do they have in common y/n?"

Letting out a laugh you said, "One slip of a tongue and you're in some deep stuff!" Before you can comprehend what was happening he was already picking you up and saying something that'll be him in a few seconds.

Ashoka: You didn't tell her any jokes since you knew she wouldn't get them and you didn't want to her spoil her mind with such things.

Padme: When you two had a second together you decided to start up a conversation, "so, my love, I was at the pharmacy the other day and I was talking to one of the pharmacists."

"Oh? What happened?"

"Well this guy asked for cough syrup and apparently he had none, so he was given laxatives and he was too afraid to cough-"

"Oh my god! That's not very... that's gross!"

Qui-Gon: "What's the difference between oral and anal sex?"

"What..?" He asked, knowing where it was leading with a sigh as he downed more tea.

"Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak."

"I-"

Maul: "What's the difference between your wife and job?"

"What?" He asked gruffly.

"In five years your job will still suck."

"You're going to be my wife so you definitely will-" He started before you cut him off by laughing nervously.

Luke: "How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?"

"I don't know, how?"

"Once you open it up you realize it's half empty." Once you finished your sentence he quickly became flustered and he started stuttering on his words.

"O-Oh."

Han: "What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?"

"What?"

"Hold onto your nuts, this isn't an ordinary blowjob."

"Wasn't that what you did last night-"

Leia: "Hey so while we were in that one place rescuing you.."

"You mean when I rescued myself."

"Yeah well when we got into combat I shit myself.
I'm taking this shit to a whole new level."

"What the hell y/n!?"

Boba: "How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant?"

"How?"

"He forgot to wrap his whopper." Boba stayed silent for a second processing it before he erupted into a loud laughter.

Finn: "Whats a 6.9?"

"I don't know."

"It's another good thing screwed up by a period."

"I don't get it."

Poe: "What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?"

"Do I wanna know?"

"Beef strokin' off."

"You know sometimes ur not that great."

Rey: "I'm not sure how I feel about masturbation..." Rey started, since your precious conversation was unknown.

"On the one hand it's pretty great."

"Oh my god-"

Kylo: "What does the sign on and out of business brothel say?"

"Hm?"

"We're closed. Beat it."

"Does this mean round 3?"

"No, you have a hand :)."

Hux: "How did you quit smoking?"

"I started smoking only after sex."

"Oh that's why we don't have sex anymore."

Phasma: "How is sex like a game of bridge?"

"I'm not interested."