What We Do In the Shadows: "Jen..."

What We Do In The Shadows: "Jen..." Part I

Summary: There are unexpected consequences for Laszlo when he takes on a new human familiar...

Evening after sunset...Naturally...But not very late...

The large old Staten Island former mansion, current home of the vampire community...

Laszlo, the self-proclaimed "most handsome man in my village" and youngest of the vampire community...To his lights, the most "connected" of the group to the human world...Paces his cell, then turns to face the documentary crew's camera...

"The Baron really had no right to kill my poor human like that." He sighed, referring to the murder/devouring of his human caretaker/familiar by their recent houseguest, superior, and would be conqueror of the New World, Baron Afanas. "I mean, she was not the most appealing of familiars...A bit on the older side, human agingwise, and not really a lot of pep to her. Still she was a most willing worker and she had the driest sense of humor, really..." chuckling. "I remember so many times when she...How do you people put it now?" friendly inquiring look "...Yes, cracked me." chuckle. "Poor thing...Wrong place, wrong time, I suppose." he shook head.

Cut to Nadja, the female of the community, well-dressed for a nineteenth century woman, perhaps less for the twenty-first, seated on couch in the living (more or less) room... "Laszlo is getting sentimental. She had no sense of humor. None at all. The woman was a total blank and irritating to be around. I know Laszlo was fond of her in his way, but really...A total block of wood, even when she was unthralled. Perhaps it's unkind of me but the Baron did her and us a favor by killing her. She would have been only more miserable as a vampire and we, I promise you, would have been even more so...Till we would have killed her to end the misery."

Back to Laszlo, still pacing... "Well, I need a new familiar. No offense to Guillermo, but God, the boy just cannot take up the slack..."

....

Cut to Guillermo, human vampire familiar, wearily trudging about in the basement.

"It's hard now especially, with June gone. Now Laszlo expects me to take up her duties till he finds a new familiar or decides to take me and let Nandor find someone new." He hesitates. "That might be nice. A bit of a change at least...And Master Laszlo does have that air of a..."

"Guillermo..." a ghostly but insistent call...

"Coming, Master..." Guillermo calls.

"You know though I am a special kind of familiar, not easy to replace, because I volunteered, more or less, on my Master's promise of Eternal Life, one day...In the future, not all that long, I'm sure. Though I have been waiting a while. Anyway, being a voluntary familiar, I have retained my independence, my pride." He notes, proudly.

"Gullermo, move your ass...!" heavily accented cry.

"Yes, yes...Coming!" he turns to documentary crew. "I have to go now. But I hope Laszlo finds someone nice...A bit younger than June...And soon."

.....

The next evening...

Laszlo, "decked out", he presumes proudly, in early 19th century black..." To go with black was always simpler, the coal dust and the problems with retaining servants healthy to properly clean good cloth...And black was considered very fashionable."...Suit with cape and top hat... "We, or rather I...The others backed out at the last minute except for Guillermo and Colin...Are off to find a new familiar for me. And frankly, who would want Colin hanging round when out for a vital, energetic new familiar...Man'd either bore them to death or drain them to torpor. Hard to evaluate them in that condition, you know? As for Guillermo...Well, I did suggest he join me later. After all, I might need transport assistance if I do find someone and put her in thrall... But, really... Look..." confidential tone as he waves camera in.

"I like the boy well enough, I really do." Slight wave of hand. "Very eager and respectful and all that but...When one is trying to impress young...People...I'm not saying it must be a female, you know... Trying to make a job that, I'll admit it..." putting up a hand.... "...Can be a bit monotonous over the long haul, especially if you're not enthralled...Seem rather glamourous and exciting all seven days a week, all hours...Guillermo is a bit of a pill. No offense to the boy, honestly."

We move along with Laszlo down street toward the main street into town... "I'm heading into town to what the local newspaper here..." he holds up a weekly... "Refers to as the 'hottest' new club on Staten Island, 'where Staten and all of New York City's young elite, meet'..." reading from weekly. "Sounds like just the place to meet a willing, rosy-cheeked young lady who'd be happy to spend her days round the old place during the day, keeping things in order, maybe brightening things up with some painting. A pretty little thing, humming the latest tunes perhaps, as she goes about her business..." he beams. "I had a girl like that, a serving girl, Milly, back in my human days. Wonderful girl, very hard worker, made the best bread..." fond smile. "I taught her to read and she used to practice by reading to me in the evenings, while she mended my socks. And always so cheerful, made you glad to be alive when she was around, really. A sweet young person can really brighten up a place, you know, even if she must board the place up continually to keep the sun out. And you know, I am not a demanding employer. Just keep the place reasonably clean, groom the lawn with Guillermo...It could stand some weeding, though not his fault, just too many chores to attend all efficiently. Yes...Mend and wash the clothes a bit...Bring in a few virgins for feeding. Perhaps she could read to me at bedtime?" hopeful tone. "We could debate the issues of the day...Milly used to do that with me. Quite a clever girl... But..." firm hand. "Nothing too onerous. I want my familiar to enjoy her...Or his...Time with us. I like to feel I'm someone you like working for."

"And I have to say, Nandor?...No offense to him...But the man truly abuses his familiars. Oh, not in his old, 'eviscerate them when they drop a plate' or torturing them to take up the Empire's cause as a soldier when he commanded Ottoman armies. No, it just that he's very thoughtless about the amount of work he puts on the boy. Day and night, season in, season out. And the lack of pay...Which to me, coming from an era that cared about the sufferings of the worker, you know, grates a bit. I know it's hard to come up with cash regularly when you don't have steady employment but come now, Nandor's a warrior and a vampire, surely he could cough up a few dollars or perhaps some jewelry or valuables from victims. I do credit Guillermo with a good heart on that subject...Though perhaps he ought to consider pressing the matter sometime, delicately...But firmly." Pauses. "You know, though I did feast on Milly after my transformation and she being my first, I killed her, much, much to my regret...Inexperience, you know?...I made very sure her family received all her back wages, plus a little something for her funeral." Solemn nod. "Which I'm sure helped them considerably at what I know was a very difficult time."

Sigh. "It is sometimes a bit hard...To be a vampire. Well, we should hurry along, it's getting on to eight o'clock when I'm told the place is 'hoppin'... I'll fly if you don't mind?" polite wait then at acknowledgement, he turns into a bat and flies off toward town.

...