What We Do In the Shadows: "Jen..."

What We Do In The Shadows: "Jen..." Part XXXVII...

Part XXXVII...

Nandor's crypt in the old residence...About 7am.

Nandor sitting up in coffin, on landline phone, Susan having brought phone in from outer hall after hearing his calls to Guillermo. She off to shower at his polite insistence.

"Ah, hello Martha dear, this is Nandor...Relentless..." he notes, warmly. "Yes, thank you, dear. How is your day going? Oh, no, no...Don't bother Miss Zeller, I just wanted to see how you were doing today. I was just...Oh, not at all, Martha. Thank you, dear...No..." he looks over, covering mouthpiece. "The poor girl is such a dear thing. I was worried she might still be a bit dazed yet, she's not quite as young as the others. Oh, dear child..." he returns to phone. "Don't get upset, I just wanted to be sure you were all right. Not at all, Martha. Why, my dear, that's very kind of you...You warm this old fellow's dead heart. Truly. How are your sons? Behaving themselves I trust." Listening...Shake of head.

"Well, they are young. But they should respect their mother, especially when she is doing so much for them alone. Perhaps I should speak to them, a grown man's guidance can be critical in these formative years. Oh, no, not at all, no trouble. Oh, no...No, I would never think of it, Martha. That's far too great a sacrifice. I think you would regret it in time, darling...Truly, not necessary." He looks up...

"Very sweet of her to offer her sons to me as food or servants but really..." he puts up hand.

"But I would like to speak to them...No hypnosis, just a man to young men's talk, eh? Let them know boys may be boys but they need to show respect to their elders as they become men. Yes...Oh, any night that works for you, dear. Oh, no...Please...Since I can't eat human, it's really not necessary to go to any trouble. I'll bring a bottle of wine and something for myself. Well, Martha...Lets see...You could just tell them your office's new client took an interest in you...Not at all...Dear, I would be flattered to be presented as your boyfriend." Nod. "No, Martha...It would be an honor, truly. Martha? Please don't upset yourself, you had quite a shock from the blood drain the other day, dear. That's it, relax, breathe...Good. That's right, just breathe a moment..."

"Poor dear thing...It's so sweet that she is so excited. But she is a fine woman, if I were human I would be a fool not to wish to obtain her for my harem as one of my senior wives. Or date her, as they do now." He addresses camera, waiting for the clearly overwrought Martha to calm...

"Are you better now, dear? Good. Really, Martha...You should not underrate yourself. I find you a very lovely and sweet person. Well, I don't think anyone should be surprised that a wealthy and, thank you, far too flattering, handsome fellow should wish to meet you outside of business matters. But you determine on a good evening and I will come and meet your sons and see your lovely home. Of course, it must be lovely, it is yours. All right, my dear. I should let you get back to work now. But keep drinking water, and no heavy lifting for several days, ok? Good. Tell Miss Ginny and the gang I say, 'hi' and best wishes. We're all proud of the work you are all doing. Goodbye, my dear. Oh, Martha, don't cry...Not even for happiness would I like to see you cry. Good, take care my dear. All my best. Bye..." hangs up.

"Such a sweet lady. Well, I will have a talk with her boys and explain to them the deference and respect a mother like Martha should have. I used to have these talks with my many sons...Some of them started acting like arrogant prince pricks with their moms and I had to put a stop to that. Even in my day, maybe more so, we treated mothers with respect." Sigh...Wry smile... "The poor woman was so delighted with the idea of my coming over, it makes my truly dead heart smile. You know, I never thought this sort of association with humans again would be so delightful. Though I will have to be cautious not to agitate her too much nor to have the boys thinking I might become their new dad. We'll have to explain we're just casual dating...Then maybe we decide to remain good friends but not get too serious? Still..." he smiles. "It would be nice to be a sort of father to sons again..." wistful tone.