What We Do In the Shadows: "Jen..."

What We Do In The Shadows: "Jen..." Part XXXIV...

Summary: There are unexpected consequences when Laszlo seeks a new human familiar...

Part XXXIV...

Guillermo's cell, about thirty minutes later that evening, or rather very early morning...

"I really should get to bed and sleep a little, Mr. Robinson." He notes to Colin.

"That's fine...I don't mind." Friendly nod. "But if you have any questions about ladies and how to really get them agitated, I'm your man. Though maybe not so much agitated sexually..."

"Thanks...I seem to be getting offered a lot of advice about women recently."

"Laszlo's sure to be next. I'm sure he's itching to go on about his sexual predations and exploits." Colin nods. "I'd like to come by then, if you don't mind."

"I think I would...Please don't."

"Oh...Ok..." shrug. "Well...I'm gonna go see what I can get out of that girl Susan before she falls asleep." Sly grin.

"Just jerkin' your chain, Guillermo." Smile. "And feasting on the reaction...Though not too much, I did promise Nandor."

"I don't need Nandor to drive you away, you foul...!" Guillermo cries.

"Whoa." Colin grins. "Nice. Where did that burst come from? Please, tell me. I really enjoyed that."

"Sorry. I'm a little upset. It was a busy night. But please don't bother Susan."

"Nah, I'm good. And she's actually a bit too content right now to generate a lot for me. I'll leave her be. Have a good one, kid." He pauses. "Unless you don't mind if I..."

"Please...Go..."

"Sure. Say, good luck protecting this crew from Van Helsing if all that's real and the girls weren't just going all Renfeld and such tonight. Though I guess werewolf girl would just go wolf." Chuckle. "God, they are all so dead if that guy's really here. I just hope we get to move in first, I'd really like to use that pool a few more times."

...

Laszlo, very early morning, in his crypt, in nightshirt, about to retire...

"A rather disturbing occurrence this last evening, Jen and our werewolf/real estate associate Eloise encountered what may have been the ghost of a rather famous vam...Scientist who studied our kind...Self righteous bastard by the name of Van Helsing. Yes, like the fellow in that Irishman's book. And the movies...And the television shows...Hell, I can't tell you how many times in my porn career I've been killed right at the 'climatic moment', so to speak, by some version of him." Glare. "Has to come and haunt our new place...Damn. As if we were the worst vampires ever to lurk in the shadows. I mean we've always been very willing to avoid unnecessary killing and you've seen we're not into tormenting or even playing with our food, right? Yes, I mean it's unavoidable we do a few things that might be construed by some of you as somewhat evil or whatever, but everything kills to live, eh? Imagine how a cow or chicken feels in the slaughterhouse...Right? And yes, we have several familiars who are utterly devoted to the point of abject slavery or serfdom...But you've seen how content they are. I think Jen and the others have never been happier in their lives. And we haven't forced them to move in...Lord knows, we wouldn't want them around 24/7, we cherish our privacy too. Though it is nice to have Jen and Susan and Erika about for stretches. I truly enjoy talking with them and Jen reads to us which is very nice, just like my old days with Milly. What?" he stares at the crew, someone among them pointing to a small mirror surface in the lighting equipment.

Laszlo in the mirror, waving arms, pleading look...

"What the hell?!" Laszlo stares...The image immediately disappearing. "Is this a practical joke, people? Because while I try to be a good comrade and all, it's really not very funny, especially just right now. No? May I see that again?" he peers into mirror, nothing reflected back.