What We Do In the Shadows: "Jen..."

What We Do In The Shadows: "Jen..." Part LXXVIII...

What We Do In The Shadows: "Jen..."

Summary: There are unexpected consequences when Laszlo seeks a new human familiar...

Part LXXVIII...

Simon Devious, facing video camera currently unwomaned by Samarta, Lesley being out to negotiate with her fellow local Hunters...

Sadly the untrusting humans refuse to ever give a proper meeting place and even refuse to tell each other about their different groups...How was a vampiric lord to collect them all in one spot for mass killing?

Oh, yes, but quite alright for Van Helsing's ghost to dash about, often with those treacherous Souls, finding our people's resting places for genocidal purposes. I mean, it's not like we would ever wipe out Humanity, our food source and in a sense, if one buys Darwin, evolutionary ancestor.

Just seems unfair...Simon notes to camera.

"Well, anyway, to sum up..." he begins...

Nandor, at the new Residence, likewise making summation...

"To put the summings up up..." he begins...

Simon: "Tonight, I seize upon my new home, my sanctum santorium...And open formal negotiations with that wretched crew, the Cravenswoods and Nandor. Should be delightful, Nadja is always so entertaining...Such a gracious hostess..." beam. "No plans for an attack by my crew as yet, given even my Lesley knows nothing of the Vampire Hunters' plans and we can't risk that they're lying in wait, seeking to strike us down. And of course I am still rebuilding said crew after the last unfortunate series of defections." Frown. "Though while the loss of Elvis and Neal, Patrick, and Harris, is hard to bear...Let alone Carol...Oh..." sob. "Carol...How could you leave me?...Pray excuse me, better now. Yes. Hard to bear, I have the happy news that Count Rappula is back with me and ready to take on his counterpart, Dracula..."

Say what, fool? Rappula, blinking in corner... Take on...?

"Only of course in the event fisticuffs are necessary...We plan merely to observe the battle and twist it to the favorable outcome I desire. Namely the destruction of the Cravensworths and Nandor the Relentless sans Redemption, their essences and souls bound in blood and evil forever...The destruction or at least whittling down of the Vampire Hunter Corps, oh not by us, I have a pledge to my own sweetheart to make no personal or crew attack here..." solemn look. "And..." grin... "Best of all, the destruction of the Vampiric Council. It's time for a strongUnman to seize power and end this modernish flirting with a kind of republicanism. Democracy and such is all very well for short lived mortals, but for the Immortal, we need the stability and permanence of a monarchy...Even...An Empire. Todd?! Display the crown for our viewers, soon to number in the billions."

Todd holding up said crown, a rather well made imitation of Napoleon's.

"Got it wholesale from this guy I know...Handles historical memorabilia for the movies and TV? A lovely human being, always delivers. Several movie Napoleons wore this one. Ok, put it away, safely, Todd. Great... And how will I accomplish the destruction of so many powerful vampires, you ask? Or you should, common courtesy, you know? The answer is simple... I simply see that a dime is dropped to let the Council know that the fiends who murdered so many are escaping Justice but are vulnerable if attacked at the right time and place."

Gleam in eye... "Sadly that right time will be just when the full force of the Vampire Hunter Corps has arrived to engage our friends. Oh, I expect a massacre of epic proportions...And we must be ready to film it, for posterity." Beam. "And, doubly sadly, in that brutal, hideous massacre, I fear my friends will have no chance to earn their desired Redemption as their pitiful human minions, enslaved dears that they are, are sacrificed...And their guilt in such, along with the said bloody massacre is sure to ensure they do not see the light of day again, ever." Sigh.