Maybe it Will End

I'm afraid

"I'm not afraid of committing suicide, I'm afraid of what will happen if I fail."

I'm afraid of people thinking I'm attention seeking.

I'm afraid of people looking at me different.

I'm afraid of my friends not talking to me.

I'm afraid of the disappointed looks.

"I'm not afraid of committing suicide, I'm afraid of someone finding me."

I'm afraid of my little brother finding my hanging body.

I'm afraid of my father breaking the bathroom door down to see me soaking in a pool of blood.

I'm afraid of my sister trying to wake me up, but not being able to.

I'm afraid of my mother crying over my body.

"I'm not afraid of self-harming, I'm afraid of someone finding out."

I'm afraid of moving my bracelets.

I'm afraid of short sleeves.

I'm afraid of shorts.

I'm afraid of doors that don't lock.

I'm afraid of someone staring.

"I'm not afraid of the anorexia, I'm afraid of someone noticing."

I'm afraid of my mom telling me to stop feeding my dinner to the dog.

I'm afraid of my friends asking why I'm not eating lunch.

I'm afraid of my little brother asking me if I want a bite, and asking why not 'this used to be my favorite.'

I'm afraid of teachers bringing in food for class.

I'm not afraid of my actions, I'm afraid of others.