WARNING- DISTURBING 3/5 Sexual assault

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soooo this is the second chapter and things are going to get slightly dark, I think I would rate it 3/5 in disturbing scale, in the first chapter I mentioned that I was indeed sexually assaulted.


this happened when I was around 5 or so, I'm not sure maybe younger, maybe older, who knows.


this was way before I knew anything about sexuality, gay, gender dysphoria, and all that kind of things. I could barely do 5+5 back then (so maybe not 5 maybe younger... IDK)


so my cousin...            

yep....


when I was younger he would pull me into closets and any hidden rooms and spaced, kissing me and french kissing me and not of my will, I didn't want to tell anyone because I was ashamed, he is Family! yeah technically that's not to bad (I don't think) but what he did that stuck with me was when he started to finger me, I told him to stop and he didn't, I don't remember his exact words but I remember the basses of it. it was something along the lines of this "shhhhh- its okay, just let me do this/just let it happen" my friends make jakes bu saying "JUST LET IT HAPPEN" and would then like grab your thigh as a joke (only to close friends that didn't care) but if I can remember correctly I think that's what he said..... 

fun fact about him, he went to a school that had a potential school shooter (he brought a gun but was caught before anything happened) and the guy had a list of people and his name was on that list.



yep, there is nothing much to say about this, this haunts me to this day I guess.


also, I was in the shower and I remembered something small I forgot to add, before any of you guys say dick or penis or anything like that its a mental condition I have, other then depression and gender dysphoria, its called Agoraphobia, I don't talk about it often but yeah its there, enjoy more stories of me suffering. eventually, maybe I'll post about my crush but for now, let's get the things that have been on my mind recently, this being the lighter topic started with this one.

yup mk imma go now

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