In Love With My Teacher [MAYLOR] ✔️

Chapter Twenty Six (Alex's POV part 1) ⚠️

⚠️ = mention of self-harm, bad thoughts, angst.

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    Alex entered in his first class, the teacher hadn't come yet, there was only John, sitting by himself at the bottom of the class, reading a book. The blond felt his cheeks heating up. He was alone with his crush. He ran a hand through his hair and walked toward him. You can't leave now, talk to him you dumb blond. «H-Hey John...» He said shyly, his cheeks very red and his heart beating really fast. John looked up to see him and smiled.

    «Oh hi Alex.» He closed his book and sat up. «How are you ? And your eye ?» He took a step to look closer at Alex's black eye. Alex looked down, he was a little embarrassed of being checked.

    «I-I'm fine. D-Don't worry Deaky.» He scratched the back of his head. «Um... Y-You okay ?» He asked, trying to sound polite. John sighed.

    «Yeah... Just tired.» He sniffled. Alex knew something was going on. He put his hands on John's shoulders.

    «What's wrong John...? Please tell me... You know you can tell me anything...» Alex said, his shyness disappearing. He wanted to help John. He had to. John was looking at the floor. There was tears pearling in his eyes. Alex put his right hand on John's left cheek which made him look up. «Why are you crying Deaky...?» Alex had a really sad expression on his face, and John had seen it. Poor Alex... He thought. John sighed again and wiped his tears away.

    «I'm sorry Alex. It's just...» John let out a sob. He put his face into his hands and cried. Alex didn't think twice, he wrapped his arms around him and stroked his back.

    «It's okay Deaky... Whatever it is, it will be alright. It's okay Deaky you're fine, everything is fine, you're not alone, I'm here...» Alex knew what to say in that kind of situation, and he meant everything. He was now stroking John's long hair. It was soft. He had to resist the urge to kiss the younger boy. «Shhhh... Calm down Deaky, it's okay...» He didn't even know why he was crying but he knew John was a very sensitive person, so he always was ready to help him. He felt John shaking his head against him. John was only sniffling now. It was a good sign. He slowly pulled away from the blond and wiped his face with his sleeve.

    «I-It's not okay Alex...» The younger boy said, looking down. «It won't be okay...» Alex was looking at him with tears in his eyes, he had a feeling that it was his fault. Maybe he shouldn't have come here, maybe he should have left Deaky alone, maybe he shouldn't have bothered him with his questions. It was definitely his fault.

    «I-I'm sorry Deaks... I-I shouldn't have asked you questions or--»

    «No Alex.» John said with his serious voice as he stepped closer to him and put his hands on his shoulders. «It's not your fault, it'll never be your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. Remember what I told you yesterday, you're perfect, and nothing can change that. Did you understand ?» The blond slowly nodded and John's thumbs wiped his tears away and stroked his red and hot cheeks. «It's only mine okay ? I-I shouldn't have...» He sighed. «I shouldn't have caught feelings for a boy...» Alex was frozen on his spot. Yes, he knew John was gay but he didn't know he had a crush on a boy. It made him a little sad, knowing John loved someone else, and of course, his thoughts were here to remember him. You'd seriously thought he could love you ? How selfish you are, he can't ! Nobody can love you, you're annoying, bothering, useless and worthless. You're worth nothing ! You just should die ! They are all lying to you. Deacon is lying, Roger is lying. They don't care about you, you could just jump out of a window in front of them they wouldn't care ! Die Alexander, it's only what you deserve ! There was a war into Alex's head. And he had to do everything to not breakdown in front of John.