Off The Beaten Path

You Know I'm Game

The stars winked from the sky above. It was a beautiful Summer night. They'd been traveling for two days now, the wall was in sight and Bernell felt her anxiety spiking. Already she was remembering the crush of people, the smell of feces and urine and sickness. She closed her eyes, her heart hammering in her chest. She threw an arm over her eyes, turning onto her side, trying to get comfortable in the back of the wagon. Beside her the horse she'd been riding nickered, nudging its soft nose into the grass by the wagon wheels. Terra fussed, too hot on the sticky night.

The cave always stayed cool or warm naturally. Houses built by man did not. She turned again, facing Gabriel who was spread out giving her just enough room to sit and squeeze out from the back of the wagon. Wearily she stood, stretching, to the fire where Commander Smith sat on look out. He caught her moving towards him and smiled, gesturing to one of the logs they were using as seating.

"This trip was so different in the winter." She half joked, trying to cool herself by fanning her shirt. "Not nearly so sweaty-" She stopped when she noticed his discomfort.

Embarrassed she lowered her hand, "I've forgotten how a woman should behave in polite society." She said in way of apology.

Erwin shook his head, "No. You'll realize that there's nothing polite about society. It's all a stage and we're just actors. Some are better than others." He glanced at her pointedly. "I see you and Levi are getting along better now."

Bernell had the decency to be embarrassed, "It was wrong of me to hate him so much. I don't know why I did or why I was so mean. It's not something I proud or ashamed of, honestly. It's just something that was." She looked up at him, her blue eyes dancing in the firelight, "Does that make sense?"

Erwin shrugged, leaning forward. "We all go through our phases. Our emotions. Our tides." He poked at the fire with a stick causing it to pop and send a small trail of sparks flying up. "Kind of like fires I guess."

Bernell cocked her head to the side, "I saw you guys a long time ago."

Erwin looked at her again, his gaze demanding an answer.

"Back when Tom was first recruited." She gave a small smile, "Levi was up there being recognized. He looked at me like... like he knew every intimate thing about me. It terrified me." She laughed softly and sighed, "Back when I was too proper to understand that sometimes people just look at you. We were supposed to look away demurely, not hold eye contact too long. But Levi's gaze just pierced me, devoured me. It was nerve wracking."

"So his scary looks put you off?" Erwin teased, his eyes lifting to the shadows.

Bernell struggled not to blush. he was there with them. She could sense it, she could feel those same damnable eyes on her. She could see it in Erwin's teasing face, in his mocking tone. She took a deep breath.

"Well, when you see something that looks like the wrong end of a horse you can't help but be put off by it." Erwin's gaze snapped back to her, shock apparent.

"I think she's teasing me, Commander." Levi quipped, sitting opposite Bernell with Erwin.

"I didn't know she had a sense of humor." Erwin responded, looking as though he genuinely meant it.

"I used to be very well rounded." Bernell offered, shrugging. "Before everything happened. Now I just seem to be mad."

"Anger is a secondary reaction." Levi put out into the world, "Usually birthed by either pain or sorrow." His gaze dropped to her again, pinning her with an accusation that made her feel too warm. "I'd say yours was both."

She rubbed a hand over her hair, snarling her fingers in her braid. "I think I'm going to try to go back to sleep."

She stood quickly, moving back to the wagon and pulling herself to the side, avoiding crawling over her kids limbs. She lay down, finally exhausted enough to doze off though her ears strained to understand the hushed whispered of Levi and Erwin.