Off The Beaten Path

Cruelest Dream, Reality

The Winter Festival had rolled around unexpectedly for Bernell. She had kept herself busy at work, rarely seeing Levi - staunchly refusing to be near him out of spite and pride. She'd been rejected by him twice now. Twice. Despite his reasoning or his morals she was hurt. It was too cold and snowy for her to even think about going outside, some of the houses and shops attempted to decorate with tree boughs and fresh baked goodies, but morale was unusually low. Food was difficult this winter, almost as hard as it had been before she'd gone to war.

She snorted, stirring the bubbling soup harder, ignoring Lisa's curious glance as she continued to read the story of the winter goblin to the children. A soft knock at the door interrupted her.

"Ezra, be a dear would you?"

Bernell refused to look as he opened the door. It could only be one of three things and she didn't care for any of them at the moment. Erik to ask she'd allow him to continue his pursuit of her, Erwin and Levi and Hange to check in on their prisoner, or Lisa's betrothed to whisk her away for a night of pre-marital bliss with their beautiful little girl and child on the way. The cold wind nipped at her ankles, waking her up a little. Despite her terrible mood she loved the brisk breeze that came in. The royals had set aside large chunks of land for themselves and their soldiers; as such the air flowed more freely, less congested and polluted. She lowered her head, realizing she had subconsciously turned towards the breeze.

That familiar weight burned into her skin and she had to fight her anger and her smile.

"Levi, Erwin." She greeted them as Ezra took their coats, hanging them on the lowest pegs. "Back so soon?"

Levi smirked at her dry joke. They'd visited twice a week as much on behalf of duty as for the food and company, Bernell suspected.

"Your charming company couldn't keep us away." Levi returned just as dry as she had been.

Warmth flooded through her and she hated it. Traitorous body. She hissed, stirring again. The heat increased, coupled with blood thundering in her ears, when she felt Levi's presence behind her.

"Smells good." He whispered.

Thrill trickled through her body as gently as a lightning bolt. For a moment she forgot how to use the wooden spoon. She shook her head, darting a glance over her shoulder, Lisa, Hange, Erwin and the children were all laughing and talking in the living room out of ear shot.

"What do you want, Levi?" Despite how badly she wanted to sound angry, she was sure she failed miserably.

He didn't say anything, just watched as she stirred. The pressure of his gaze made her nervous and anxious, her hands shook when she grabbed the final ingredients and threw them into the pot.

"Do I make you nervous?" He finally asked.

"Yes." She snapped back. "And angry and frustrated and self conscious and..." on fire. She swallowed that last bit, her cheeks reddening at the thoughts that flowed freely through her mind.

"Good." He smirked, grabbing something off the table and making his way into the living room.

Bernell fumed silently. How dare he tease me?!

She hissed a stream of air between her teeth in an effort to calm down. Her skin felt itchy, too tight. Too burdened. She wanted to go change into her loose night gown and let her hair down. Her mind was buzzing with a million thoughts. She felt too warm, simultaneously too cold. It was bizarre. She didn't remember it feeling this complex with Tom. It had been easy and natural. With Levi it was tense, overflowing with restraint and need. She could feel his eyes devouring her from across the room and God for a moment if she closed her eyes she could pretend his gaze were his finger tips and-