Sweet as Sugar : Confessions of a Sex Addict

I'm in love with a stripper

       Thank u for staying with me.

       I'd like to go back a bit now, bcuz I can't go further without letting y'all know a few things...

      Recently, I committed suicide😔...notice how I say committed, as in I succeeded...I was dead. Periodt. But it wasn't my time yet...apparently I'm still here for a reason. At some point, I shall let u know why I did it, but not now...

       I'm about to venture into another side...a darker side...& I must let u know why...I said I wasn't gonna talk about Ms. Shirley no more, but I have to...

      I knew the day would come where I'd finally break...Ms. Shirley had found new ways to fuck me & fuck with me...I've said there were times when I refused her & she'd beat me....well, the woman wigged off on me bcuz she thought I was fucking younger girls...accused me all of the time....told me I was ungrateful....

     This woman had me fucked up...I was a goddamned teen...I wasn't supposed to be in this relationship & often I blamed myself for being so fucking stupid & gullible...how could this woman love me like she'd say she did when she had a fucking man....this shit here is what made me ....I don't know...I guess...it made me attracted to taken women later on in my life....I always seem to latch onto women who are either married or spoken for, planting the demon seeds of my "love" in their lives..😔

      But as I was saying, remember the girl who stood me up? Well she had let slip that I would buy her whatever she wanted to her friends at school...then with lil mama telling everybody in the hood that I ate her pussy & that I had a big dick, all of a sudden more females were stepping to me...I was known for being a pussy eating trick with a big dick....wow....😔

     Word traveled fast, now I had females being more friendlier than ever....ain't gon lie...I smashed a few after living up to their expectations of mall trips...but none of these lil girls had what Ms. Shirley had....& that fucked me up bcuz I began to crave her at times, even tho she had taken the mind games to a whole new level with me...she'd heard about how Mother Dear's little white boy supposedly been cutting up with all these lil girls, & began to threaten me, saying she was gonna tell her ole man I raped her...she would have this death grip on my dick...I would ask her what the fuck was wrong with her...I remember saying U made me this way...u made me fucking love u...u made me this way...

    By then, I had enough...it was time to dead this shit. I felt something inside of me...something I just couldn't comprehend. I began to feel more & more depressed...Ms. Shirley still demanded I fuck her accordingly....U better give it to me the way I taught u...what the fuck was I then? Why was I doing this shit? I was sick of this dick...I blamed myself.

    The day of days finally came. I was smoking weed heavily around then...I had to...Mother Dear noticed a change in me...she wasn't blind or stupid; I think she knew more than she let on, she just didn't want to put it out there until she was sure.

    She was surprised when I had started working on her car...wondered how I paid for the parts with just my part time job plus considering the fact that I kept giving her money...Mother Dear sat me down one day when it was just the two of us at home.

    I know u Damien...something is going on with u...something has been bothering u for a long time...now it's time for u to speak to me...I knew I was crying...I couldn't look her in the eyes...

   Mother Dear asked me if the rumors were true...that I'd been messing around...I told her yes but before I could fully explain, she told me that she knew I'd have all kinds of lil girls chasing after me ever since she saw me in the bathtub when she first took me in...she began to tell me what she figured the problem was...I had something different...something that would either be a blessing or a curse...I think that's when I truly cried....& she knew more was coming....