Do you still love me?

Honest

I thought this week wasn't gonna get any worse than it already was. But of course, the Universe or whatever is controlling my life decided to make it harder. Thank you, Universe for making my life shitty.

Today I woke up with a 101 degree fever. It was probably from crying last night. Tetsurou slept on the couch in the living room. I was right. He did hear me.

I tried getting up but my body would not let me. Everything was hot but cold at the same time and every time I thought of eating or food, I had an urge to retch. Being awake before Tetsurou on a day like this was definitely awful.

 He woke up an hour later and freaked out when he saw me in bed buried in blankets with a bright red face. Using the back of his hand, he touched my forehead saying, "It's as hot as you." and winked. Of course being the "nice boyfriend" he was, he made me porridge.

"Thank you Tetsurou-san." feeling grateful even after what happened a few days before. "I'm sorry for being troublesome, I know you have work in an hour. It's fine if you leave me home, I can take care of myself."

"It's fine babe. If I knew this was gonna happen, I would've comforted you. So to make it up to you, I'm gonna stay here just for today. Do you want me to massage your legs?"

"N-no Tetsurou-san. You need to go to work! I know I'm sick but it's not worth staying home. I'm just troubling you!"

"Babe I-"

"Tetsurou-san please go!" I said, slightly raising voice. Then softly said, "Right now, I don't feel like staying with you for too long, please just go."

Tetsurou looked at me in disbelief. Shocked, his face showed. He knows me well. He knows that I'm clingy and never want to let him go. And saying this was unusual.

Confused he asked, "Baby what are you talking about? You always want me to be with you, why are you saying this?"

"I just need to organize my thoughts. Leave before I might say something I'll regret."

"What do you mean? I thought we trusted each other. Were lovers right?!"

He raised his voice. He yelled and it scared me. Tears started forming and just like that, I started sobbing. Finally I told him what I've been feeling. I was finally being honest.

"Tetsurou!"

He stilled and looked at me.

"Please don't yell, please. I saw what happened okay. I saw."

"W-what?"

"The girl you kissed." My tears ran down my cheeks and I desperately tried to wipe them away. 

"Tetsurou it hurts. So much that I feel like dying. It's not fair that you can ask me if we're lovers but I wasn't the one cheating, was I?! Instead of being with you right now, could you please go to work. We both need time from each other and I feel that right now we need to be apart." I was infuriated and I didn't wanna be near him at that moment.

As soon as those words left my mouth, I regretted it but I wasn't the only one who was regretting their actions.

Tetsurou flung himself onto me and cried out, "Wait! Baby, please don't leave me! I won't do it again I promise!"

I looked down at him, looked straight into his dark eyes and asked "Do you still love me?"

"Babe I-I"

...Silence...

"Just stop. Please."

For a second he stared at my tired eyes, his own starting to tear up. But all I could think about in that moment was how he hesitated. I could've changed my answer that day, but I loved Tetsurou, and even if it was painful, I had to leave him.

I pushed him off me, slowly got up and walked to our closet, pulled out his work clothes, and gave it to him. I grabbed his arm and walked him outside our bedroom. He didn't know what I was planning as I brought him to the front door.

In a raspy voice I said, "Tetsurou-san, we should break up."

"Huh? Tsukki-"

Then before he could answer, I opened the front door and locked him out waiting for him to go to work. He was banging the door and asked me to let him in so we could talk about this but a good 30 minutes went by and he finally left.

As soon as saw him leave through the peephole, I walked back to our bedroom and started packing. I called my brother Akiteru, and asked if he wouldn't mind letting me stay at his place until I can get my own. He asked why but told me to come over anyways. Little did I know, the time that I'd be staying there would change my life forever.

*     *     *     *     *

Hey guys! Are you ready for a surprise? I hope to see you in the next chapter :) -Kei