Do you still love me?

Explanation

What happened really isn't all that sad. I have accepted the fact that i cannot change what has already happened and i can say that for many things. I'm sure everyone else knows this true.

I started to explain what happened.

"When we broke up, the only person i could go to was my brother. Kuroo-san doesn't know this but my parents got divorced when i was 9. Of course, my brother was already a teenager at that point and he understood more of the situation than i did so he tried reassuring me it was fine."

"But as i got older, i started learning what reality is and understanding what it means to be divorced. None of it really affected my learning at school nor at any point in my lifetime at all but anyways, you get the point. I stayed at my brothers house for about a week before i started feeling dizzy, nauseous, etcetera."

"It got worse when looking at bright lights and this kept on happening so i finally decided to visit the doctor. We went in for a checkup and they ran some tests. That's when the doctor diagnosed me glaucoma. He told me that its a lot more common as you get older but it happens on average around my age."

"He told me everything else seemed fine but because i already have problems with my vision, i would become blind at a faster rate. The good news right now is that i'm a bit slower than normal so it'll take about 5-7 years. I'm on my third year and all i can say is that it's not getting any better. It sucks so much. I feel so helpless and useless because my brother has a fiancé and he can't just take care of me all the time even if he wants to. Even though i can't see it, i can feel that he wants more leisure time and if i didn't exist he could be a lot happier. But here i am."

It was silent until i heard sniffles. Kuroo sounded like he was about to cry. Tears formed in his eyes and a few started to drop.

"....I'm so sorry..."

"For what? None of this was your fault nor anybody else's."

"I'm sorry....that i couldn't be there for you."

"Well, you were there for someone else who deserves it better than i do. You can't lie to me Kuroo-san, i know you loved her more than me."

"But i-"

"Shush already. I forgive you. Don't make this any harder than it already is Kuroo-san. You know how i feel and you should leave it at that."

He was hiccuping, then he cried. I've done that and all i can say is that it sounds better than it feels. When i got diagnosed with glaucoma was probably the lowest point of my life. So many events happened. One by one the pain piled up till i could no longer hold the weight anymore. Without Kuroo's help, i had to carry the weight alone for as long i could stand. When i decide to give up, all i had to do was fall and wait for the pain to go away but it's not that easy.

For a while, i had to go to therapy. The therapist was so pitiful of me. When i would walk in, her bubbly energy seemed to die down and she would get serious. My brother was heavily worried for me. Every time he looked at me, he would give such a sad face that i felt like crying. Things started to get better when i changed therapists. This one kept her positive attitude and it helped me. I was also helping myself by learning how to move on.

A few months went by, and i was up and running. Of course it's not fully gone but it's definitely better. Unfortunately, right now isn't the best of days. Kuroo had to stop the car and park off to the side because he couldn't stop crying.

I would tell him everything else after the checkup but hearing him right now, i rather not. I felt a pain in my chest and i knew, i knew i felt hurt because of what he said. My heart knows what it wants to say out loud and how much agony Kuroo's actions caused me but what my brain wanted to do was very much the opposite. And again, i chose to listen to my brain.

I leaned to my right, and i searched for his torso by feeling my surroundings, and hugged him. He gasped. I squeezed tighter and thats when he hugged me back. He rested his head in the crook of my neck and i felt his tears drip down my shoulders and collarbone. We stayed like that for a few minutes before he told me to let go so he can take me home. That night, i did not sleep.

* * * * *

You guys finally get to know what happened and Tsukishima's background! Was it sad? Sorry, hehehehehe. Next chapter will definitely be better, i promise! See you next chapter :) -Kin