Growing feelings - (Bertholdt x Reader) College AU

I want to watch the fireworks with you

Bertholdt's point of view

I spent the whole morning trying to recover from an ugly hangover. When I finally decided to leave my tent, I felt the sun rays piercing my eyes and crawled back again.

It took me a while until I was a normal functioning human again, but when I was well enough to look for (y/n) I couldn't find her anywhere. Truth is, I missed her.

I wasted a whole day feeling sorry for myself instead of spending time with her. I want to be close to her like in the first day, before the festival is over.

- Hey did you hear? - I overheard two girls chatting - there will be an amazing fireworks show tonight! It will be the most visible from over there - she pointed to the distance - that's where everyone will be. Let's go before it starts!

Fireworks? Maybe (y/n) will be there too?

____

The show was about to start, and the place was full of people, spreaded across the field; but I still hadn't found her.

I started to give up, and stared at the starry sky. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

I was surprised by the first bang followed by light that spread across the sky. I lowered my eyes. Watching it alone just wasn't the same.

I started to walk, with my eyes looking arround, shimmering with the last ray of hope.

As the fireworks exploded one next to another, people's faces were illuminated by the lights, amazed by the beautiful spectacle.

A bit farther from the audience, a girl was in front of a tree, staring at the sky, alone.

(Y/n)??

I was overwhelmed by a feeling of relief and happiness. I found her!

- (y/n)! Hi! - I said above the noise as I approached her.

- Bertholdt?? You're here...

- I finally found you.

- You... were looking for me?

I nodded. I watched as the colorful lights bounced arround her face. She was so beautiful. How can someone be this perfect.

We watched the fireworks together for a bit, side by side. Somehow I was feeling... odd. I wasn't nervous. I couldn't remember why I was feeling like that before. Being with her felt natural, soothing. I was so happy I could do anything. Really anything.

I looked back at her, and she turned to face me. I wanted to kiss her. And I was going to.

I'm not afraid anymore.

I put my hand softly on her cheek, and got closer. I closed my eyes.

My lips are about to reach hers... 

My heart was racing, but not because I was nervous, but rather from the excitement. For the first time in my life I felt like I was in control of my feelings. I was the person I wanted to be.

Suddenly, I felt her face slipping from my hand. I opened my eyes, and was surprised by the look in her face. Her expression looked so painful. Why.

Her eyes were watering, and she looked angry? Disapointed? Disgusted..? I couldn't tell. 

But she didn't want it. That I could tell.

Why did I do it. I'm such a fool.

It hurts.

- I'm sorry - I said as my vision started to blur.

I left her, even though it was wrong to leave like that, but I couldn't think straight. I couldn't breath.

I wanted to find a corner where I could hide. And luckly I found one. 

There was a dark place with no illumination, behind a wall where no one would walk by.

I seated on the floor and grabbed my knees. The tears flowed freely down my face. 

She doesn't like me the same way. We're just friends to her.

I grabbed my chest in pain.

 I almost forced her to kiss me. Why would I do that. I'm such an idiot. 

My sobbing started to be more audible. I hoped that no one would find me like this.

I wanted to stop crying but the agony was too much to bear.

 Why... Why did I had to ruin everything?