Growing feelings - (Bertholdt x Reader) College AU

Reiner, what are you doing?

Bertholdt's point of view, a few hours earlier

What is wrong with me?

I spent the whole day avoiding (y/n) until she left, and all because I'm such a coward.

Yesterday I had the perfect moment presented to me, and yet I ruined it. I even managed to hold her hand, but for what... I couldn't tell her... my feelings.

I want to be more than friends... to hold her in my arms... but, does she feel the same way...

sigh

This is all Reiner's fault... he keeps telling me that I should make a move... but even when the time is right, I can't make myself do it. I'll never confess to her. It's just not possible.

- Hey Bertholdt! Stop sulking over there. Come and join us - Reiner put his arm arround my shoulders and pointed to the group of people seated in a circle next to some tents nearby.

- I'm not sulking... - I let out, in a depressing tone.

I followed Reiner and joined them, reluctantly. I doubted I could feel any better and wasn't in the mood for a chat. I choose a place to sit still a bit farther from them, just close enough for it to seem like I was there. Not like anyone would notice anyway.

Reiner approached me again, this time with a can on his hand, and seated beside me.

- So... what happened yesterday, exactly? You look so gloomy today. - he made a pause, considering his words - Did she...

- She didn't do anything. Actually, nothing happened. Nothing at all happened. And nothing will ever happen. That's how it is.

I felt like a child, pouting while looking away. I started to feel my eyes watering.

It was just so frustrating.

More than anything, I was angry at myself.

I had planned to tell her how I felt at the festival, I rehearsed so many times in the mirror, playing it over and over in my head... those words that, when the time comes, I can't let out of my mouth.

And now I can't even look at her because I feel like I will never be able to do it. One day, we'll finish college, and go our separate ways... and I'll just wonder on my own how it would have been.

If I was someone else.

Reiner patted me in the shoulder.

- Bertholdt... you're a great guy. What you lack is confidence. If you believed in yourself a little bit more, you could do anything -

- Don't come with that talk again about she liking me and that I should do this or that - I brushed off his hand - it's your fault that I'm feeling like this... I would be fine just being her friend if you hadn't put these thoughts on my mind.

- I think I know you well enough to know that -

- Well I don't need your help.

We stayed in silence for a while, watching as people passed by, had lively chats and laughed like they didn't have a care in the world. I didn't know why, but their happiness was making me feel more bitter.

I was ready to get up, but Reiner stopped me.

- Bertholdt... I might have pushed things a bit too much... but I did it for you. So you can have the hapiness you deserve. But I... ended up putting too much pressure on you, I see that now. I'm sorry. I won't middle between you two again.

I didn't know what to answer. I started to feel bad for talking to him like that, he was my best friend afterall. The one that has been there for me, allways. 

- Thanks... and I'm sorry... it wasn't your fault... 

Reiner sighed, maybe due to the gloomy feeling coming out from my words.

- Look... I'm sure everything will work out.  Maybe try to relax a bit... you still have time. How about you enjoy things for now, and think about that later?

Relax? As if it was that easy...

I took a glance at the can in his hand.

 - So... what are you drinking?

- Ah! That's the spirit!  I'll go get you some.

____

I didn't know how much time had passed, or how many of those drinks I had. But I was sure that Reiner had a lot more than me. He drink them like it was water! What a crazy guy. Fun guy.

He was my best friend. Look at him go.

Somehow I felt light. Like I didn't have a worry in the world. I was feeling great! But also slithly nauseous.

I could barely realise the way I was laughing like an idiot. Apparently, Reiner got himself in some kind of a dare game. But he was the only one doing dares. What a bunch of stupids.

A guy named Connie said he bet Reiner couldn't climb a tree. He was trying to do it right now, with the audience laughing at him while he hugged the tree like it was a life or death situation.

He was so wasted. Ahah.

Jean said he bet one dolar that Reiner couldn't go and talk to a random girl and ask her out.

What kind of game even was this? Apparently they called it 'Reiner does everything'

Then after he returned, a red haired girl got up and made a dramatic pause.

-I bet... five dolares!! That Reiner can't give a kiss right now!

Another dramatic pause.

- Oh you bet I will!

- To who?! - asked Connie.

She suddenly pointed at me and I felt everyone's gaze.

Wait... Me?!

- Sasha, isn't that a bit too much... - said Marco, grabbing the tip of her shirt at the bottom with one hand, not sure if in a pleading manner or while trying to keep balance from all the drinks he had. He looked like he was about to pass out.

- Don't worry, the money isn't mine... I took it from Jean - a mischievous grin formed in her face.

- Hey! - exclaimed Jean, with an overly exagerated shocked expression.

That girl clearly had too much to drink, more than she should be allowed to! She was insane.

But its ok cause Reiner won't do it... right?!

He kneeled next to me and took a deep breath, like he was going to start meditating. 

- Reiner...! Are we doing th-

- Bertholdt. This is not just a game. My pride is at stake here.

- Your pride?! 

- MY PRIDE. - he shouted

His gaze was really intense. I would have run away, but I could barely move without feeling dizzy.

Still I realised I wasn't nearly enough drunk for this. My idiotic smile faded.

Guess this is really happening?

Reiner grabbed one side of my face, got closer, and pressed his lips against mine.

I heard everyone cheering and clapping.

Eh?