A Bucket List for Ella

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

 "Hey Nico," I said sheepishly, looking at Mel and then back to his stone-hard face.

"Hey Ella, how's it going? What have you been up to tonight?" he asked in a sarcastically casual voice. "Oh right, you must have been going for a walk in the rain. May I ask why?"

"I just...we were bored," I lied.

"You were bored. Likely story. You're sure it wasn't for, oh, I don't know, maybe some sort of bucket list?"

"Nico!" I exclaimed. "You looked through my stuff!"

"I didn't see a reason as to why I shouldn't."

"Because it's my house, that's why you shouldn't! You should know you can't look through other peoples' stuff! What is wrong with you?'

"I'm worried about you Ella. You're doing stupid things, for a bucket list of all things! Why would you do that? Why would you do things to put your well being in danger, just so you can say you did them before you died?"

"That's not the point Nico!"

"Oh really? Tell me then, what is the point? Because I'm lost right now." Nico was now standing, glaring down at me.

"I have to...I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't just lucky. That I deserve to be here. And I want to experience things that may be dangerous to me, but normal to other people. And I haven't gotten to experience them because of my condition."

"Ella, you're making absolutely no sense. Can you – what's your name?" he asked, looking to Melanie.

"Melanie," she replied.

"Melanie. Nice to meet you Melanie. Can you tell Ella here that what she's doing is not smart, and that it is in fact quite stupid?"

"I- I'm sorry Nico, but I can't do that. I can't control Ella and neither can you. And personally, I think what she's doing is fabulous."

"Oh, fabulous? Is it really? You must be just as delusional as she is then!"

"Nico!" I snapped. "That's enough, you are welcome to go now. How did you even get in here in the first place?"

"Your aunt Jodi gave me a key. Told me to keep an eye on you."

"Are you kidding me," I barked.

"I wish I was. She's worried about you too."

"Everyone needs to just stop worrying about me already! I'm not as fragile as you think!" I was yelling now.

"Are you kidding me Ella? Do you not remember the events that happened just days ago?" Nico yelled.

"I do Nico! But I can't live my life worrying about my fragility! I need to just carry on with my life."

Nico sighed, calming down a bit. "You know what Ella? I think the best thing for you is to move back to Vancouver. You can room with me, and that way I can keep an eye on you."

"You can't tell me what the best thing is for me Nico. You think you're my best friend or something, but you haven't even known me for a year!" That was when I started sobbing.

"Oh, honey, come here," Melanie said, grabbing my head and pulling me close in a hug.

"Don't baby her," I heard Nico hiss.

"I'm not babying her, I'm being aware of her feelings!" Melanie shot back. "Unlike a certain someone in this room. Apologize."

"Who are you to tell me what to do?" Nico questioned.

"Apologize." I could tell Mel was giving him one of her infamous death glares.

"Ella, I'm sorry." But he didn't sound sorry. He sounded like a stubborn five year old.

"You're not sorry," I mumbled into Melanie's neck.

"Come on, I mean it. Let me drive you two home."

I would have refused, except that there was a hint of sincerity in his voice. It made me think that maybe he really did care about what was best for me after all, and he wasn't just exaggerating.

The car ride home was silent. Not a word was uttered by anyone.

The elevator ride was silent as well, until Mel got off at her floor and we both muttered out goodbyes. When we got to my floor, Nico made sure to hold open the elevator door and let me out first before following closely behind.

I noticed immediately when I entered the apartment that my list book was on the coffee table, and that Nico's sweater was still thrown over the back of the couch. He walked over to it and picked it up.

"I'm leaving."

"The country?"

"No. But I just can't be around you right now."

"Where are you going to go?"

"Probably your aunt's," he said. "Ella, I actually am sorry. I still stand by my word, but I do think I may have overreacted a little bit."

"Maybe more than just a little bit," I joked, poking his chest. "But I don't really want you to go."

"I have to," he said quietly, staring down into my eyes. I could feel his breath on my nose. We were close. Too close. But neither he nor I moved away.

And before I knew it, I had reached up on my tippy-toes and kissed him. His lips melded with mine and moved slowly. He kissed me back and moving his arms up, held me round the waist.

Then he must have realized what he was doing, and he pulled away sharply.

"Ella, I can't do this. You can't do this. I love Shannon, and you're with Liam. We can't be together. It isn't right."

"Why not?" I squeaked pathetically. And why did I want to be with him? I was more than happy with Liam.

"I told you Ella. We're just friends. That's all we are, and all we are ever going to be," Nico said. "I have to get out of here." He turned and bolted out the door.

As I stood in my living room thinking, I realized what I had done. And how if Liam found out, we would be done. And I realized that Nico wouldn't tell him. At least that's what I told myself.

I must have stood there for a long time, because soon my mind and my feet hurt alike, and I slumped to the floor in a pathetic mess.

And right then and there, I cried myself to sleep.

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