A Bucket List for Ella

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

I made a point of getting up the next morning bright and early to go see Lina. As much as I liked to believe she was okay, a part of me was restless all night with anticipation and anxiety.

I rushed as fast as was legally possible to the hospital and raced up to the elevator, trying not to remember the previous days' events.

When the elevator finally released me at the fourth floor, I practically ran to Lina's room and flung open the door.

What I saw amazed me. Not only was it sad and moving and all other terrible things, but it wasn't Lina.

An old man lay in the bed, barely grasping a newborn baby in his arms. Beside the bed were two couples, and I would assume that this was a room that contained four generations of family.

"I- I'm so sorry, my friend was in this room yesterday so I assumed she would still be here," I apologized quickly.

"That's alright," the younger woman said apprehensively. "Good luck finding your friend."

"Thank you. And congratulations."

With that I burst out of the room as quickly as I had come, racing to the information desk at the end of the hall.

An old, bitter looking nurse looked up at me from under her glasses.

"Can I help you?" came the classic line from the woman.

"Yes, thank you, I'm looking for Lina. Little girl who was up here yesterday, cancer...do you know anyone by that name who might fit the description?"

"Lina?" the woman said thoughtfully.

Slowly her face changed.

"Lina."

"Yes, you know her?"

"Yes, I do. Sorry, I didn't catch your name?"

"Ella. What room is Lina in?" I said, starting to get frustrated.

The nurse's face softened. "Unfortunately Lina is no longer with us."

"Oh," I choked, feeling all color drain from my face.

It was in that moment that I realized that some of the people we've known for the least amount of time have the largest impact on our lives, good or bad.

And now I had just lost someone else.

"I'm very sorry," the nurse said, placing her small papery hand over my pale one.

"No, that's okay," I said, forcing a smile. "It's not your fault. Thank you for your time."

Turning, I forced my leaden feet to move away from the information desk and back down the hallway to the elevator. As I passed each room, I began to wonder why each person was there. Old age maybe? Or perhaps a terrible car accident? Cancer, like Lina?

I stepped into the elevator and as I watched the doors close in front of me, I knew that I wouldn't be back here until it was my time.

Because I had no one. No one but my small family, and Liam.

***

"Ella, love, come here," Liam said when I opened the door for our date. Liam wrapped my head into his chest and hugged me tightly. I couldn't help but feel guilty, because it seemed that Liam was making more of an effort than I was in our relationship.

"I didn't even know her for that long. How can this make me feel so terrible?" I choked out between tears, sobs wracking my body.

"I know, love. I know," Liam cooed, stroking my head. And honestly, that was all he needed to do. Because sometimes a warm embrace beats all the words of wisdom and the cliché phrases of "she's in a better place." Sometimes you just need a good hug.