Breaking in Pieces

The Decision

A few minutes later Dec gets up. "I'll clear the table. You go and rest." Ali shoots him a gentle, sympathetic look. "Oh honey. You're under a lot of stress and pressure right now. I'll do it." She was kind; her voice was soft and gentle. Dec kisses her on the cheek. "No. You're pregnant. I'll do it." He starts to clear the table. She shoots him a disapproving look before walking up the stairs into their room. Declan walks over to the sink, rinses the dishes, and puts them in the dishwasher. It wasn't full, so he doesn't run it. He walks back up the stairs.
  "Have you made your decision? Your manager texted and said he needs to let ITV know by tomorrow whether you want to continue or who, if anyone, your cohost is going to be." She said it as soon as Dec walked through the door. He sits down next to her. "Yeah, I have. I'll continue because I owe it to so many wonderful wonderful people. And I need to stay busy. I'll do I'm a Celeb with Holly, if that's alright with you. If not, I'll do it with Stephen." They both lay down. "Okay. But are you sure you want that much pressure on yourself? You could finish Takeaway and then take some time off?" It was a statement, but she said it more like a question. "No, it's okay. I love I'm a Celeb and I love Australia. I'll be fine." He pulls out his phone to text his manager back. Ali puts a hand on the screen. Declan tilts the phone down and looks at her. "What?" "You can do it with Holly. I don't mind." He gives her an, 'are you sure?' look and she nods. Dec looks at his phone and immediately starts texting his manager. Almost immediately after he sends it, his manager calls. "Dec, let's just talk about this for a second." "No! I've made my decision and I'm sticking with it." He tried to make it sound firm, but his voice was shaky. After a few moments of silence, his manager speaks. "Okay. If that's what you want to do." "That is what I want to do. And I want Holly to be my cohost for I'm a Celeb and I'll do BGT and Takeaway solo." "Will that set right with your wife?" His voice raised an octave or two. Dec replies, "I've already talked to her about it and she doesn't care." His manager sits in silent contemplation. "I, okay. Whatever. I'll get it set up." and hangs up.
Dec lays back down, feeling proud and confident in his decision. 'I'll do great, right? Oh, I hope I do great. I can't let our fans down.' Thoughts like these cause him to toss and turn, finally leading to the waking of Ali. "You okay honey?" She rolls over and props up on her arm. Dec rolls over to face her. "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know." He keeps saying it over and over, getting closer to tears every time.
Eventually, he breaks. He sits up and curls into a ball, rocking back and forth. Ali puts her hand on Dec's back, comforting him. "I.., ca ca can't... d d do... it," he manages between sobs, "it's too much! I can't!" He started crying harder, if that's even possible. "Oh, honey, but you can. You can do it. Do it for Anth, for the fans." "No, I can't!" Dec screams. He didn't mean to be mean, he was just frustrated. Ali sighs before checking her phone for the time. But instead of looking at that, her eyes drift elsewhere. To the news article that popped up on her phone: "Is Declan Donnelly Hiding Something?"