Breaking in Pieces

Mood Swings

"What is taking him so long?" Ali asks to no one in particular whilst pacing around the room. She walks over to the window to see Dec sitting on the ground. "What in the world?" she wonders, being particularly confused. She walks down the stairs and opens the front door. It startles Dec into looking up at it briskly. "Erm, what's wrong?" "Uh, nothing, nothing," Dec says, quickly getting up without looking at Ali, "nothing at all." He walked toward the car. Ali follows. She puts her hands on his shoulders, turns him around, and looks him square in the eye. "Now tell me nothing's wrong." She emphasized the 'now'.
Dec rubs his lips together, sticks his hands in his pockets, and turns away. Ali, knowing something's wrong, says, "it's Ant, isn't it." She gives the slightest nod. Dec nods, his eyes still fixed on the ground. He starts to cry, but ever so slightly. "Yeah." he responds, quiet as a mouse. She puts her hand on his back, guiding him into the house. "Listen," she says, soothingly and understandingly, "I know this has been hard on you. On all of us, really, but especially on you." They walk in the doorway, and Ali closes the door. "But you can't clench up. You have to tell me. Keeping it all bottled up inside you isn't healthy, and won't benefit anyone. You can cry, yell, whatever and I won't judge. But you have to let that emotion out." She sounded like a mother. "I know," Dec says, "and I'm sorry. I just," he stops there, not knowing what to say next. "It's fine," chirps Ali, "I'm just reminding you." They both walk up the stairs, and when they get into their room Dec sits down on the bed, his head down and eyes on the floor. Ali walks to the bathroom to change, but leaves the door open. "Listen, Dec. I know this has been hard for you. I can't even begin to think how you must feel, but let me tell you this one thing: it WILL get better. There is light at the end of the tunnel, even if it's a long tunnel. You know, nothing ever goes back exactly the way it was. Things just expand and contract. Like the universe, like breathing."
  Although Dec doesn't verbally or even physically acknowledge, he focuses on that. Hard. "Well," he says eventually, "you could be a motivational speaker!" They both laugh. "You know what I love about you?" Ali asks. Dec shakes his head. "No. I don't even know what you see in me!" He grins before doing his cheeky little wink that instantly hooked Ali in the first place. She rolls her eyes in a playful way. "I love that even on your darkest days you can still bring humour into all of our lives. That's tough to do!" Dec lays back, relaxed. It's as if he's on a beach. "Do I though? Do I?" he turns his head toward her and smiles. She smiles back. "Well as a matter of fact you do!" Dec crawls under the sheets, a huge smile on his face. Other than Anth, the only person he wants to accept him is Ali. Obviously, he loves the career and would like to bring happiness to Great Britain, but that wasn't his first priority. His first priority was his family. And Ant, of course, but he's basically family now.
  Ali crawls into bed beside Dec. "Night." she says, reaching for the lamp. "Goodnight darling." Dec says, right as she turns off the lights. He rolls over on the other side. "Isla sure has slept. Should we wake her up?" "Nah," Ali says, "we should let her sleep as long as possible. I can get up with her tonight." "No," Dec says, "you're tired. I can get up with her. Besides, I probably won't be able to sleep anyway." He was expecting Ali to say okay. Instead, she responds, "Dec, you're stressed, you're tired, and you have a lot on your mind. I'll get up with her. You could use some sleep." If it hadn't been for that last part, he would've tried to talk her out of it. He was just so TIRED. He hadn't gotten a proper night's sleep since god knows how long ago.

               He fell asleep to dreams of Ant.