Letters To The Heart

Entry 8: I Will Be

"So, how long are you planning to avoid me?" I hear Christian's deep voice inquire.

"I don't know. How long are you going to stay angry at me for something that isn't my fault?" I hear a deep sigh from the other side of Sapphire's stall.

"I know that, Elise. I don't blame you." His voice is soft, but there's a tension beneath it.

"It sure felt like it."

"These past few days, I thought my parents only wanted me to come here to start building relationships as the future king of a neighboring kingdom. Not as the future high king of Cair Paravel... and your future husband." He pauses, his voice heavy with meaning.

There's a small pause before he continues, his tone quieter. "As a future king, I reacted unfairly... I'm sorry."

I cross my arms, still feeling the weight of his initial reaction. "You should have known better, Christian."

"Please, say something. Anything," he sighs in defeat.

"I just can't believe any of this. My father has never pushed any man on me, yet here he was, offering my hand to you, without any warning. And you! You reacted as if I had planned this." I stand up when I utter the last words, still angry.

"Elise, please," Christian steps forward, his eyes filled with regret. "I know. You said you forgive me, but I can see it still hurts."

"I just... I don't understand. All this time, we've grown so close through our letters. Now, it feels like none of that mattered to you."

"Elise," Christian says softly. "I've spent the last two days going through the signed document. It states we've been engaged since the day you were born."

My breath hitches as the truth strikes me. "This explains everything. That's why you spent years of your childhood in Cair Paravel, building relationships with our people. Your parents weren't just sending you here to strengthen ties. They were preparing you to be king—my king."

Christian nods slowly. "Yes, it was all arranged. Our parents wanted this alliance to secure peace and ensure our nations would be united under a strong rule."

I shake my head, trying to process this. "And now, we're left to deal with the consequences of their decisions."

"We don't have to go through with it, Elise." Christian's voice holds a note of desperation. "We could find another way."

"This is a legal document, Christian. If we don't marry, it could lead to war—a war that neither of our kingdoms can afford."

"I don't want to marry you," he blurts out.

I recoil at his words, a mix of hurt and anger swirling inside me. "I never said you did!"

His tone softens, but the tension between us doesn't ease. "We're both being forced into this. I care about you, Elise, but I don't want to be bound by something neither of us chose."

"Things are different now." He runs a hand through his thick hair, frustration clear on his face.

I frown, trying to understand what he means. "How? How are they different? You're still the same person who wrote me those letters."

"Yes, but that was different. That was just us, in our little world of words, with nothing between us but distance. Now, we're face to face, bound by something much bigger than our friendship."

"I don't see the problem," I counter, my voice quieter now. "All kings and queens are expected to marry. Many don't even know each other before the wedding. We're not strangers, Christian."

"I'm about to take on the role of high king in under a year. I can't afford to make mistakes. Marrying someone who doesn't understand what it means to truly put her kingdom first is too great a risk." His words hit me like a blow.

"Excuse me?" My voice rises in defense. "I've been preparing for this my entire life, just like you. Don't act like I'm some naïve girl who has no idea what's at stake."

He crosses his arms, his expression hard. "You're hiding in a stable, Elise. That doesn't exactly scream readiness for the crown."

"I am not hiding. I'm processing. There's a difference," I snap. "And just because I'm not thrilled about this marriage doesn't mean I'm not ready to be queen. I've faced my responsibilities head-on, while you're the one running from this."

Christian's eyes narrow. "Actions speak louder than words, Elise. I've yet to see anything from you that proves you're ready for this."

I take a step forward, my voice cold and controlled. "Then you haven't been paying attention."

I turn to leave the stall, leading Sapphire out with me. As I mount her, I glance back at Christian, my heart heavy. "You know, I always thought you were different. That I could trust you. But you've changed. You're not the friend I thought you were."

I don't wait for his response as I ride out into the evening, the wind carrying away the bitterness in my heart. I am the future high queen of Cair Paravel. And when the time comes, I will be a great one.

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