See Differently

18

The adult world just keeps disappointing me

You always think of adults as people who are put together

Who know their purpose

Who have great friends

Who love their lives

But it's all a lie

Because I think I'm different from them

I think I'm unique

And then I realize

Everybody is unique

And no one is actually an adult

We're all just kids pretending

Pretending to be happy

Pretending not to be young and naive

And because we have to pretend

We're just kids without being able to experience joy

Because I find that there's only one adult thing I enjoy

Alcohol

But I have to be careful

Because if I have too much of that joy

I'm a bad thing

An alcoholic

I just keep hoping I'm in a transition period

Maybe it will get better

That's the only thing keeping me here

And family

I know they'll be sad if I were gone

But honestly

I don't know if I'm strong enough for the adult world

And do I really want to spend my whole life suffering?

Because that's what I'm doing now

I'm watching my life crumble

I'm losing control

And I can't find the motivation

To put it back together

And once my life is in pieces

The monster will come after me

And my soul will crumble

And I might not be able to put myself back together

But I don't think I'm depressed

I really don't

I think everyone feels this way

It's normal

Everyone is sad, with small rays of happiness

Shining through the cloud for brief moments

And then it's over

And the clouds are back

And we go in circles

Circles

Spiraling down

Down

Down

And sometimes people crash

And now I understand why