XO, Joanne

Starstruck

*Nicole POV*

"Dear Gaga,
I know there's a very low chance of you reading this, but if you are, my name is Sarah."

My heart sank.
"I'm sorry Nic." I heard Chloe say.
I was devastated.
"It's whatever. I should've known it wasn't gonna happen anyway."
I felt Chloe's arm around me.
"Hey, don't be sad. At least try to enjoy the rest of the show."
She was right. I may not have gotten my note to Gaga, but I was in the same room as her, and that was a blessing in itself.
I looked back up toward the stage as Gaga continued reading. Once she was done she walked around and examined the crowd.

"Sarah where are you?"

All of a sudden, a guy with a giant camera was standing right in front of my face. I turned and realized that Sarah was the girl standing next to me. She was in hysterics, and I couldn't blame her. I would've reacted the same way. I looked back in front of me and saw Gaga getting helped off the stage so she could meet Sarah. She ran right past me and I watched her engulf the girl in a hug. I stood there in shock, trying to process the fact that Lady Gaga was standing six inches from me. Once she was about to walk back to the stage, I saw one of the security guards whisper something in her ear. She nodded her head and started going back towards the stage.
She gave me a huge smile as she walked by.
I heard Chloe freak out.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD NIC SHE JUST LOOKED AT YOU!"
At that point I had tuned everyone else out. All I could focus on was Gaga.
I pinched my arm, hoping that I wasn't about to wake myself up from a dream.
Did THE Lady Gaga actually just look at me?!
I watched her intently as she was lifted back onto the stage, not noticing the piece of paper she had in her hand.
By now she was supposed to start singing The Cure, but instead she disappeared under the stage.
"What's happening??? There isn't supposed to be a quick change right now!" Chloe said.
We had both watched the tour on YouTube many times, so we knew the setlist by heart.
"I have no clue, hopefully she's okay." I said, thinking that maybe she hurt her hip again.
About two minutes later, Gaga reappeared onto the stage, and continued the show like nothing happened.
Chloe and I looked at each other.
"Well, that was weird."
We shrugged our shoulders and enjoyed the rest of the show.

The last song of the night was Million Reasons. I was sad that the best day of my life was almost over, but I pulled myself together so I could enjoy the final performance. Gaga was just starting to sing when I got a strange feeling that someone was watching me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of her bodyguards standing. He noticed that I was looking at him and started walking towards me. I turned away quickly, thinking that I was about to be kicked out.
I felt a tap on my shoulder, followed by a man's voice.
"Are you Nicole??"
Shit.
Was I about to get arrested or something???
"U-uhh.... yeah." I answered nervously.
"Oh good." he said politely. "Gaga got your letter and she wants you to come backstage."
"A-a-are you serious?!"
I immediately started sobbing.
"Yes, I'm dead serious." the guard laughed.
"OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH!!" I yelled in between sobs. I hugged the guard without even thinking.
"Okay, now here's what you have to do. When the show is over, you're gonna get to the edge of the barricade where I'll be waiting, and I'll bring you backstage. Just you though. Nobody else. Got it?"
"Ye-yes sir." I said, still at a loss for words.
"Alright. See you in a few minutes."
He walked away.
I dropped to the ground and continued sobbing.
Chloe finally looked over at me. She hadn't been paying attention and didn't have a clue of what was going on.
"Oh my god Nic are you okay?!?!" she said when she finally saw me sitting on the floor.
"Gaga s-said she wants to m-meet me."
I could barely get the words out.
"HOLY FUCK YOU'RE JOKING."
I got back up on my feet, my face covered in tears.
"DO I LOOK LIKE IM JOKING CHLOE?!?!"
She hugged me and I tried my best to calm down, but I was still a wreck.
"But um Chloe.." I said. "The guard said I couldn't take anyone with me. I have to go by myself. I'm so sorry." I said.
I could tell she was really disappointed, but she understood.
"It's okay girl. You go have your moment with her and I'll wait here for you." she said, still hugging me.
"Thanks Chlo."
"I just can't believe you're actually meeting Lady Gaga."
Hearing those words made me cry even harder.
"Yeah.. neither can I."

The show ended and I had to leave.
"I'll see you soon Chlo!"
"Bye Nic, tell Gaga hi for me!"
I pushed through the crowd to find the bodyguard waiting for me. He helped me over the barricade and led me backstage. We walked down a huge maze of hallways for about ten minutes until we reached a door.
It was Gaga's dressing room.
He unlocked the door and led me in. We sat on a couch on the other side of the room.
"Gaga is out meeting other fans right now but she wanted some time alone with you so we're gonna wait here." said the guard.
"O-okay." I said.
I couldn't believe it. Out of every fan she could've met and given special treatment to she chose ME.
All of a sudden, Gaga's dog Asia came running towards me. She jumped on my lap and licked my face.
"Aw she's soooo cute!" I said.
The bodyguard laughed.
We only waited for around thirty minutes, but it felt like eternity.
Then I heard the turn of the door handle. It opened, revealing a small blonde goddess on the other side.
Gaga's face lit up as soon as she saw me.
"Hey sweet girl!!" she said as she ran over to me with her arms out.
"Oh my god you're real." I whispered under my breath.
I was immediately enveloped in the best hug I've ever gotten. I never wanted it to end.
"Awww baby you're shaking. It's okay." she said, still hugging me.
Once we let go, she sat on the couch and patted the spot next to her. Once I sat down she put her arm around me.
"Well I'll just leave you two alone." said her bodyguard, who was still in the room. He got up and walked out, so now it was just Gaga, Asia and I.
At first I couldn't say much. I was speechless.
"I-I can't even b-believe this." I said.
"Aww you're so cute." Gaga said as she tightened her grip around me.
"Now the reason I brought you back here is because I read your letter, and I just had to meet you. That was one of the most heartbreaking, yet beautiful things I've ever read. I know it must have been really hard for you to write, but I'm so glad you did. Thank you for sharing that story with me."
"Wait, how d-did you get my l-letter anyway?" I asked her.
"Well my bodyguard noticed you in the crowd and said you were crying the whole show and having the time of your life. He saw you throw your letter on stage and grabbed it and gave it to me. He pointed out who you were once I read Sarah's letter. I went under the stage to read it and I just had to meet you, so I got my guard to come get you."
"Wow. What an angel." I thought. I couldn't believe that she took time out of her show for me.
"This is amazing." I said. "I just can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me. I love you so much, and I..."
Just when I thought I couldn't cry anymore, I immediately burst into tears. I felt Gaga wrap her warm body around me in a tight embrace. She kept consoling me.
"I love you too baby, don't cry. It's okay."
Once I calmed down (sort of), I continued talking to her.
"You've just inspired me s-so much. I don't know how I could've gotten through this without you. You saved my life, Gaga."
I looked back up at her and saw that she was starting to cry too.
"No, that's all you baby. You inspire me." she said, stroking my hair.
"Lady Gaga just said I INSPIRE her. Holy shit. I can't believe this is my life right now." I thought.
We continued talking about my letter and took a few selfies. After about fifteen minutes I had to go.
"Well, I guess this is goodbye." I said.
Gaga gave me a really tight hug. We didn't let go of each other for a long time. I pulled back and looked at her one more time, trying not to cry.
Just when I turned around to leave, she stopped me.
"Wait! Before you go, I want to give you this."
She handed me a small slip of paper with a phone number on it.
"I'm not really supposed to do this, but I want you to have it. I may meet hundreds of fans a day but I felt a connection with you that I didn't have with anyone else."
My jaw dropped.
"T-thank you so much." I said, starting to cry again.
"No, thank you." she said with a sweet look on her face.
She gazed into my eyes and wiped my tears away.
"I love you. You're beautiful." she said, hugging me one more time and kissing the top of my head.
"I love you too Gaga."
I walked out of her dressing room and saw her bodyguard waiting for me. He escorted me back out to where Chloe was. I sobbed the whole way home.

Once Chloe dropped me off, I ran straight up to my room and put Gaga's number in my phone. I plopped into bed and texted her.

"Hey Gaga, it's Nicole. Thank
you so much for tonight. I'll
never forget it ❤️ I love you
to the moon and back 💞💞"

After plugging in my phone, I tucked myself in. That night, the thought of cutting didn't even cross my mind. For the first time since my mom died, everything felt perfect.

I closed my eyes and drifted off into a deep sleep.