Blood & Lace

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

After our shower, Happy and I decide to go home. I wanted us to sleep in our bed. Walking into the house, we head to the bedroom and get undressed and lay in bed. "The guys know you're my Old Lady." he whispers. "Really?" I asked. "Yeah. I told them about the house and shit too." he says. I lean up and look at him. "Are you sure about this? I know we are living together but Hap, you don't have to give me your crow if you aren't ready for that. Crow or no crow, I know how you feel about me." I tell him. Looking me in the eyes he says "I would have put my crow on you the minute you told me to fuck off if you would have let me." I start laughing and I see him actually smile. "What?" I asked. "You laughed." he says and it was then I realized I was going to be okay. Sitting straight up, he sits up with me. "Babe?" He asked concerned. I look at him with a look of realization and say "I laughed. That's the first time I have laughed." He smiles and lays back down, pulling me with him.

The next morning, I get up, shower, dress and even do my makeup. I have not wore makeup in over a year. But this morning, I have never felt more like my old self than I do now. "Morning babe." Happy says as he walks into the bathroom to get into the shower. "Morning Killa." I say and he looks at me and smiles. "You're in a good mood this morning." he says "Hap, I actually feel like my old self. I don't feel like I have to constantly look over my shoulder or that everyone thinks I'm damaged. I finally feel like me again. You know that's because of you right?" I asked. "Me?" he asked confused. "Hap. You stood by me. You bought us a house so I wouldn't have to go back there. You actually love me. You did this. You brought me back." I say and he kisses me softly before getting into the shower.

Half an hour later, we are pulling out of the driveway and I head out to the truck. My car is in the shop again but Happy had already given me a key to the truck. He walks me to the truck and I ask "Will you be home tonight?" he kisses me softly and says "Yeah. But I will come by at lunch and bring you something." Smiling I kiss him again and say "Okay. See you later. Please be safe." He nods his head and heads to his bike. I pull up to Cara Cara and head to my office. Lyla walks to the door and asked "Can I talk to you a minute?" I nod my head yes and she walks in and shuts the door. Lyla and I have talked from time to time and I really like her. She has been seeing Opie lately and I think she is really good for him. "What's up?" I asked. "I just wanted to see how you were doing?" she asked actually concerned. "Believe it or not Lyla, I'm really good. I really don't think I would be if it weren't for Happy." I tell her. She smiles and says "So, the rumors are true?" I look at her confused and ask "What rumors?" She smiles again and said "That he has taken you as his Old Lady." I laugh and say "Yeah. It's true. He told me he wants me to have his crow when I am ready." Luanne walks in the door as I say this and says "Are you ready?" Smiling I tell her, "Yeah. I'm going to have him do it tonight but he doesn't know yet so when he comes over for lunch don't say anything." They both agree and let me get to work.

That evening, Happy comes in and I have dinner ready. We sit down to eat and I say, "Hap? I have to tell you something." He looks at me worried and I smile "I'm ready for my crow." He smiles and says we will do it as soon as we get done with dinner. I pin up my hair the way he likes it and he preps the area on the back of my neck. For the next three hours, he is working on putting his mark on me. Once done, he hands me a mirror and I walk to the bathroom to look at his work and I start crying. "Hap, it's perfect." I tell him. Kissing me softly he says "I was hoping you'd like it." I respond "I love it. Now, one more thing to do." He looks confused so I say "Claim your Old Lady." He kisses me roughly and takes me to bed where we spend the rest of the night claiming each other.

Two months later, Happy has left for work and I get up sick. Walking into the bathroom, I get undressed and to get in the shower and I feel a really sharp pain and then blood running down my leg. I had brought my phone into the bathroom with me so I pick up the phone and call Luanne. "Aunt Lu. Something's wrong." I say. "What happened baby?" she asked. "I'm bleeding and having sharp pains." I tell her. "I am on my way. Don't move." she tells me.

An hour later we are at the hospital and Tara is running tests. "I called your dad and Happy." Luanne tells me. "Okay." is all I say. A few minutes later, Happy and Dad walk in and they both are at my side. "What happened? Are you okay?" Happy asked. "I got up this morning, sick, and then had a sharp pain hit and was bleeding. Tara is waiting on the test results now. Twenty minutes later, Tara walks in and said "I have your test results. Do you want everyone here with you when I tell you?" she asked. I nodded my head and she continued. "Well, it looks like you had a miscarriage. You appear to have been six weeks pregnant. I'm really sorry." she tells me and I lay there, shocked. I tear runs down my face and I hear Luanne tell Dad, "Let's give them a minute." I pull away from Happy. "I'm sorry." I tell him. "For what? This ain't your fault." he said. "Hap, we never talked about kids. I swear I have been on birth control and I never missed a pill, I swear." I say starting to panic. "Hey. It's okay. I know we didn't talk about kids but if I were to have one I would want it with you. Did you know?" he asked. "No. I didn't." I tell him. "Look, I love you. I don't want you stressing about this." he says. Looking at him I asked "You aren't mad that I was pregnant or that I lost it?" He pulls me closer and says "No babe. I'm not mad. I hate that we lost it but we can try again when we are ready." Tara knocks on the door and says "I am going to keep you overnight just for precaution. It looks like the scar tissue from your attack might have contributed to the miscarriage. When and if you are ready to try again, we will access you and see where you need to go from there. But I just want to observe you tonight. We are going to move you to a room in a few." I smile and say "Thanks Tara."

A half an hour later, I am moved to a room. "Hap, you need some rest. You don't have to stay." I tell him. "I ain't going nowhere." he tells me and I smile a little. He lays on the bed next to me and I lay in his arms. I start thinking about what it would have been like if I wouldn't have lost the baby. I guess Happy was thinking the same thing. "Would you have been happy about the baby?" he asked. "Yeah. I would have. What about you?" I asked, almost scared of his answer "Yeah." he said and I felt myself release the breath I didn't know I was holding.

The next day, they released me and Happy took me home in the truck. Walking into the house, I sat down on the couch and didn't say anything. "You alright?" Happy asked. "Yeah. Just thinking." I say. "About the baby?" he asked. "Yeah. Do you want kids? Honestly?" I asked. He looked at me for a minute and I said "Not what you think I want to hear.

Honestly." He takes a minute and said "I never wanted kids. But then the minute Tara told us we lost the baby, I was upset. I thought about it last night while you were sleeping and, yeah, I do want kids. I want a fucking house full of fucking kids. As long as they are with you." he tells me and the tears start running down my face. He pulls me to him and I say "Tara said my hormones would level out soon." and I feel him kiss the top of my head.

The house that we are in, is a four bedroom house. The other three rooms are guest rooms right now but that gives us room for at least three kids. But I'm not getting my hopes up. I just have to keep telling myself that it will happen when it happens. Happy left to go to the clubhouse for church and I am all alone at the house. Standing in the doorway of one of rooms, I think about what it would look like with a crib and a rocking chair. We will have our kids. Eventually.

Happy comes back home and I am sitting out on the back deck, drinking some tea. He walks out to see me in my deck chair reading a book and leans down to kiss the top of my head. "Hey baby." I say. "Hey." he says. "Everything okay?" I asked. "Yeah." he answers. I sit up a little more and turn to him. "Talk to me." He looks at me and says "We heard from Lowen about our sentencing. But there's some other things you should know." I look at him, worried because I know they are facing time in prison on the weapons charges but we don't know how long. I know Opie and Kozik will still be here helping us out while everyone is locked up. We had been preparing for this. "What did she say?" I asked. "Well, we are looking at 14 months if we don't get into any shit while inside. But they said we have a couple of months before our sentencing." I take a breath and say "Good." I tell him and put my head in my hands. "14 months? When you come home, I want to start trying for a baby so you better stay out of trouble." I say. "Let's start now. Stop taking your pills and we will just let it happen when it happens." he says. "Really?" I asked. "Yeah. I told you, I was upset when Tara said you lost the baby. I know we didn't know you were pregnant but I want a kid with you." Smiling he pulls me up and kisses me deeply as he carries me into the house to start 'trying' to make a little Lowman.