These Two Hearts (Raura)

9 | It's Up To Fate

April 28, 2020 (1 Year Prior)

"Hey babe, did you get all of the invitations done?" Ben asked me as he walked through the front door of our house. To my right sat a neat pile of invitations ready to be mailed out, and to my left sat an invitation that I couldn't bring myself to fill out.

It was Ross's. 

"Yes, they're right here. I'm going to get Jenna to drop them off at the post office tomorrow so they can be mailed out." I said, walking over to Ben and kissing him gently. "How was your day?" I asked, and he shrugged. Ben was an accountant, so most of his days were extremely boring and tiresome. "It was a day. How was yours?" He asked. "It was fine, just meetings about tour. Oh, and my manager told me that the tour sold out." I beamed and his eyes went wide. "Laur, that's amazing! A sold out world tour? Congrats babe." He said, wrapping me in a hug. 

I smiled into his chest, but stopped as soon as I remembered the invitation sitting on my desk. I had invited Rocky to the wedding, and Rydel. It only seemed fitting to invite Ross. Ben had said it was perfectly okay, since he thought Ross was a pretty chill guy.

Here's my questions though, why am I still thinking about him a year after we called off our relationship? Well, since he called off our relationship. 

I can't get him out of my head. Especially since he's everywhere I look. He's made it big as a solo artist and I can't help but feel happy for him, but at the same time extremely annoyed. And part of my heart is still reaching out for him every time I see him. It's killing me. 

So, naturally, I can't help but feel as if I'm supposed to be marrying him instead, like it was always supposed to be, before he walked away. 

"You okay?" Ben asked me, pulling away from our hug. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just going to go tidy up the office." I said. "Sounds good, I'm gonna take a quick shower, then we can grab some dinner?" He smiled. I nodded.

As I walked into the office, I felt like fate was willing me to take care of the situation. It felt like if Ross was supposed to be the guy I was going to end up with, then a serious act of fate would need to prove that to me.

And then it all made sense. There was something I could do that would end up showing me whether or not I should completely let go of Ross. 

I would fill out the wedding invitation, telling him that the invitation I'm sending him isn't supposed to be given to him directly. He isn't supposed to receive this invitation and then show up to the wedding, that's not what I'm going for here. 

I'm going to write him and explain that if this invitation ends up in his hands because of some sort of act of fate, then he should not come to the wedding. In fact, no one will be coming to the wedding, because I'll cancel it. 

If Ross gets this letter, I'm done chasing anyone else. I'm not going to marry Ben, I'm not going to walk down the aisle and I'm not going to live my happily ever after.

I'm going to walk away from this and follow what fate has set out for me. This decision is out of my hands now. It's up to fate. If Ross gets this letter, then I end everything. I end it all, and I follow my heart and pursue what I lost so long ago.

So I picked up the pen and began to write exactly what I wasn't sure I ever wanted Ross to read.

Ross

This is supposed to be your invitation to my wedding on June 28th, 2021. It feels a bit weird inviting you to my wedding since the last wedding I planned was ours. I sat here for hours debating whether or not to ask you to attend. Isn't it funny? After all this time I still think about you. So, instead of an invitation, I decided to do this instead. If this somehow made it's way to you before I asked you in person to attend, or if this is in your hands because someone else gave it to you and not me, then please, do not come to the wedding.