These Two Hearts (Raura)

10 | I Think That's When I Lost Her

"What do you know about this?" Rydel yelled at me through the phone. I nearly choked on my cereal. Getting yelled at by your sister at 9 AM wasn't ideal. "What do I know about what?" I asked. "Laura just sent out a memo saying that her wedding is cancelled. Ross, this reeks of you. You just couldn't let her be happy, could you?" Rydel nearly blew my ear off.

She did it. She actually cancelled her wedding. 

She knows I know.

"Rydel, would you calm down? I didn't do anything and I'm kind of insulted that you jumped on the chance to blame me." I tried lying, since I didn't really want to feel Rydel's rage any longer. "Ross, don't play dumb with me. Honestly." She deadpanned. I rolled my eyes. "I'm done being interrogated. Goodbye, Del." I said before she could get in another word and then hung up.

I walked back into the recording studio and collapsed onto the couch. No way was this happening. It had been so long since I had felt like I had anything with Laura, let alone a relationship, and now what? Was she really going to drop the love of her life for an ex that should have treated her better?

"Yo, did you hear this, Ross?" One of my producers asked, walking into the room. He showed me a tabloid of Laura and Ben with the headline "It's Over!". "Holy shit." I said, trying to act surprised, which was kind of easy since I was surprised by how fast the word had spread. "I know man, it's fucking intense. They were Hollywood's favourite couple, and now just like that they're over. That's harsh." He mumbled, although I could hear him clearly.

"And the weirdest thing? Laura's in today to record, like it's just any other day. That girl doesn't stop for anything." My eyes went wide and I practically flew off the couch. "I'm gonna go see how she is." I said before running off toward her studio. I flew through the door and everyone turned to stare at me, including Laura. I swallowed the lump in my throat and told them to carry on, which they did, until Laura asked for a five. 

"Ross, this is unexpected. What are you doing here?" she said casually, sipping her water bottle. "Do you have a second to talk?" I asked her, wondering how she was so chill. "Sure." She said, leading me out of the room. As soon as the door shut behind us I threw my hands up in confusion. 

"Laura, what the ACTUAL FUCK? What the hell are you doing?" I said in anger. Laura laughed lightly and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Before you get the wrong idea-" "It's way too late for that. I already have." I interrupted her. She rolled her eyes. "Look, you have to understand I was in a different place when I wrote the invitation. I was really quite confused and didn't know how to respond to planning my second wedding in less than two years. Naturally, I freaked out a little." She explained. 

"Okay, fine. But why the fuck did you end it with him then?" I asked. She shrugged. "Felt right. I've been putting off our wedding for awhile and this whole thing just solidified it. The universe can only point to signs for so long; it's up to you to read them." Laura said, and I felt my entire world spinning around. 

I guess part of me thought she'd just kiss me right here and we'd finally run off into the sunset together. Turns out she didn't actually have any of that planned. 

"So everything written on that invitation is just pointless now?" I asked and she thought it over. "I guess in a way. I'm not marrying you any time soon, am I?" She laughed and I felt a little pain in my chest. "Can I get back to my recording session now?" She asked. "Yeah, I guess." I almost whispered. She nodded and walked back inside, leaving me standing in the hallway a complete and total confused mess. 

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All anyone could talk about for the next few days was Laura's engagement being called off. It felt like the news broke three years ago and not three days ago. 

I wrote a song about it all, hoping to navigate my feelings a little, but I was left with no guidance at all, and a really confused song. Laura had completely fucked me over. If this was a game, she won. Turns out the minute I let her go, all that time ago, it had actually been me, killing myself off in whatever game she'd been playing. 

That was the thing about her though, she was never after anything. All this time, she wasn't after me, or even Ben. What she was after, what she's always been after, is bettering herself. That's why she went to New York for college five years ago, that's why she became a song writer, that's why at the end of the day, her talents were finally noticed and she was offered a recording contract. 

Was that just her plan this entire time? To bounce off of people while completing her rise to fame? I didn't want to think that of her but part of me couldn't help but wonder. It was sure beginning to seem that way, and maybe all this time she hadn't been as innocent as everyone thought. 

She was gone for three years and I tried so hard to wait for her. I loved her more than anything. The minute she came back from school I fell in love with her all over again. It seems like the longer I'm away from her the more I fall in love with her. All this time, even when I was telling her to her face that we weren't meant to be together, I had just been trying to protect this scared, insecure part of me that wasn't ready for anything serious. 

It didn't change the way I felt about her. If there's one constant amidst all of these changing and fleeting aspects of my life, it's that I'm still in love with her. And maybe that's a hopeless cause. Maybe I lost her the minute she left for New York so long ago, or maybe I lost her when I walked out of our house for good. Maybe it was when I tried making dating for her next to impossible. But, out of all of the possibilities, it was probably the time when I told her we weren't meant to be together. I think that's when I lost her. 

And where did she lose me? 

Well, I guess that's just the thing, isn't it?

She didn't. 

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hey

sorry that it's kind of a filler chapter but it's also kind of important at the same time. if you're confused about any details just comment with your questions and I'll answer!! I get that I drastically changed up the plot so if you're confused I totally get it. 

anyways, thanks for the love! I appreciate it. harry styles is going to be at the met gala tmrw night and I'll probably go ahead and die so if ud like to write this book hmu 

LOL jk jk but not rlly 

see you next update if im still alive

all my love

haileexoxo