Living in a Mirage

Chapter Five

"Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us from pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must, therefore, accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces."

- Sigmund Freud

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As Nandini rested her back against the headboard of the bed, she closed her eyes, feeling the burning sensation behind the eyelids, and let out a tiring sigh. She was used to it, the confusion she felt each time the tears slipped down her cheeks; was it tiredness or something else that made her cry each time she closed her eyes?

'What a day,' she thought with a numbed brain.

She opened her eyes to stare out the window of the room, at the sunset. Her gaze remained unmoving, even as her eyes begin to sting and water, she didn't bat her eyelashes - an evidence of the tiredness or something else she has gotten used to...

As the setting sun colored the sky in the darker shades, her brain started to rewind the events of the day. Reminded of the reason why she stepped in the Malhotra mansion after years. Without moving her eyes, she reached out for her handbag placed on the side table. But her hand stopped short as it collided with the metallic surface of Manik's star lamp. Closing her eyes at the cold feel of metal, she felt her heart throbbed with grief. The mind she had no control over made her relive the memories associated with the star lamp she once had gifted to the guy who once innocently had shared with her intoxicated self, the love he had for the shining, bright stars...

The soft sad smile disappeared from her lips when her mind reconnected the memory to the day because of which the lamp was now on her side table insisted of his. Shaking her head, she tried to stop herself from going to the place which she only visited at cold, dark nights. With a sigh, she opened her eyes, this time, turning around she picked up her handbag and set it down on her lap. She kept rummaging through it till she found the piece of paper Ramchand had given her. Staring at it for a long moment, she tore it apart, without a second thought. The past few hours and what Nyonika had reminded her brought her to the truth she, somehow in the madness of the past few hours, had forgotten;

Mr Malhotra didn't care about Manik enough to even stop his wife from everything she had done before and after Manik went missing...

As she kept the tiny pieces of the paper aside, Nandini heard someone knock the door of her room and felt annoyed with her best friend. Navya - the only one who didn't leave her alone ever since they came back from Malhotra mansion.

"Navya, please, leave me alone for some time, I will come downstairs on my own. Just ten minutes more," she said in her now raspy voice. All the screaming and yelling hadn't helped as she pleaded to be let out of the room Nyonika locked her but worked enough to give her a sore throat and an almost soundless voice.

"It's Cabir, Nandini. Can I come in?" She heard him ask.

"Yes, come in," she responded, stressing on her voice to make sure he heard her.

As he entered, she realized the reason why he was here. She let out a heavy sigh, knowing the conversation they were going to have wasn't one she could escape.

'The sooner it got over, the better,' She decided.

"How are you feeling now?" Cabir asked her as he closed the door behind him.

"I am fine," she answered without elaborating. Drawing her legs to her chest, she wrapped her arms around her knees - a silent invitation for him to sit on the bed next to her.