Living in a Mirage

Chapter Nineteen

Pain has an element of blank;

It cannot recollect

When it began, or if there was

A time when it was not.

It has no future but itself,

Its infinite realms contain

It's past, enlightened to perceive

New periods of pain.

- Emily Dickinson

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Dedicated to @debopriya1 who is sweet, kind and always patient, and even though I annoy her by tagging her here and there, she always wishes me best and cheers me on, is very supportive, she keeps motivating me with her kind words and gentle nature! *___*

Thank you for being so kind and amazing! <3 

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"Was Nandini...Was she with me during the accident?" He stuttered, his voice quavering under the possibility of her being hurt, knowing already that if he was responsible for her being hurt, the devastation and guilt that the knowledge could bring would be enough to kill him, torture him till his last breath, the very last heartbeat.

"What? Who?" Mr Malhotra asked, alarmed when he saw his son paling right in front of him, with his eyes wide open and tears running down his cheeks, Manik looked as if he had seen a ghost.

"She was with me during the accident, wasn't she? Is that why you are doing all this? You aren't letting me meet her, you are even pretending there is no Nandini. Is that because I - out of all the people I am responsible for her being hurt?" He choked, after uttering those words, he shivered at the idea of her being wounded greatly, hurt, and still suffering while he was so far away from her.

'And what if she is already dead?'

'And what if she is no more?'

A poisonous voice whispered in his ear, shaking him to the core as the cold shivers made his whole body tremble. And suddenly, he realized that he had been missing something...

As his brain process the information, suddenly he was reminded of the words Madhav his father's PA - had used to describe the sight of his car accident; he had said that the passenger side of the car had been hit by the truck and the impact had been so great that the left side of the car was distorted in such way that it was impossible to think that there had been one to begin with...

His legs gave in, making him fall on his knees but the damage and the physical pain went unnoticed by him as he gasped for air, unable to breathe as if he was underwater, breathless, his hands made their way to his chest, thumping it with his fist as the sharp pangs of pain increased, blinding him. His brain, on its own, created the crime scene of the accident in front of his eyes, stopping only after it was done with painting it to its finest details, ending with the sight of her, Nandini, bathed in her own blood as life left her, slowly and painfully while all he could do was to watch her slipping away from him.

"No..." He whimpered in a breathless whisper.

Blinded by every other sight but hers, his mind played the brutal scenes it had created on loop, slowly coming up with a much detailed version, breathing life - if only temporarily - to the sight of her, lying helpless, trapped, struggling as she breathed her last breath, a one last plea for help on the edge of her lips, whispering his name for the last time with a gasp and then nothing...