The Burning Secret

Chapter Seventeen

I have been wandering aimlessly around Lucas' kitchen waiting for the kettle to finish, so I could finally make myself a cup of tea. The last few days were making me dizzy just thinking about everything that had happened. I heard faint footsteps behind me, so I turned trying to figure out where the noise was coming from.

Suddenly, Jake's silhouette appeared in the doorway and my body shivered with his presence.

I went to say something but he beat me to it.

"I figured you might want this back." He said, with his voice quieter than I had ever heard it before. He passed me the piece of paper that I had read off, earlier in the week. My fingers shook as I took the piece of paper from his hand and threw it rather dramatically in the bin, as I couldn't hold it in my hand any longer.

Jake stuttered out a few mumbles, clearly shocked by my actions.

"I thought it was important to you." He said, his eyes trying to fixate on mine.

I refused to meet his gaze and simply shrugged my shoulders in response.

"Maybe it was important or maybe it wasn't, but the words aren't going to bring her back. I'd rather not hold onto them." I admitted and slammed the bin lid shut.

"Miya, what's wrong, are you ok?" His voice was filled with concern and I felt his hands rest on my shoulders, willing me to look at him.

I furiously stepped out of his reach.

"You're what's wrong!" I half shouted at him.

I crossed my arms, making myself look small, but I couldn't help it- I felt small standing in the kitchen with Jake in front of me. I looked at him; anger filled my body and I shoved my fists hard against his chest, which made no difference to his position.

Was he made out of bloody stone?

Nevertheless, I continued to smack my hands against him until he caught them both in one hand and held them to his chest.

"Are you finished?" He said, with a slight smirk yet worried look on his face.

My body had given up, I didn't feel like fighting anymore. It wasn't even Jake I was angry at, it was myself. I was angry at myself for the way I felt about someone who wasn't my boyfriend.

"I wish I had never met you." I whispered, my voice coming out cracked and hoarse.

His whole expression changed and he released my hands so quickly, it was as if I was a disease and he didn't want to catch anything. He inhaled a big breath and took a step away from me.

"Do you really mean that?" He asked, his eyes practically begging with me to say the right answer, the answer he wanted to hear.

I swallowed hard-not wanting the 'NO!' to escape from my throat, I felt like I was choking on the word that I really wanted to say. In a desperate attempt to convince myself that not a single part of me liked Jake, I took another step away from him. I took a deep breath, before letting my gaze meet his.

"Yes, I really mean that." I replied, struggling to make my voice sound even and not shaky.

Jake nodded slowly, analysing the words, letting them sink in properly. They seemed to be lingering in the air and I wanted to pull them back into my throat and tell him that of course I didn't mean it. That I was angry that I always thought about him, when I was already taken. But I didn't say anything, I stood there as he looked at me like I was stranger. I was waiting for him to say something to me, to beg me to change my mind or to shout, something.

He gave me another once over and then turned his back on me and walked away. Never before had I wished someone would shout at me, I wanted him to show some sort of emotion.

Then again, what the hell did I expect? I didn't deserve anything from him.

I mentally sighed and filled my cup to the top with boiling water. Now more than ever seemed like the perfect time for a cup of tea. I heard footsteps behind me once again and I really hoped it wasn't another guy; I wasn't in the mood.

"Please just leave me alone." I practically shouted and turned around to face Sophie who looked shocked and most definitely confused.

"Miya my dear, is everything ok? You gave me an awful fright and you don't look well my darling." She asked and brushed wisps of hair behind my ear, while bringing me into a warm embrace.

I wrapped my arms around her willingly; I felt exhausted from everything that had happened.

"I saw Jake leaving, did he say something to upset you? Am I going to have to have a word with that boy." She asked, trying to make me meet her gaze.

I forced a small laugh. "No, it's just---it's complicated." I finished and took a sip of my tea, not knowing what I wanted to say exactly, especially not to Sophie.

She was watching me and she delicately shook her head. "Ah, I understand." Sophie said, before adding more to herself than me. "I didn't notice it before, but it explains a lot."

I was very confused. "What do you understand?" I asked, completely intrigued by what she was seeing in me.

"Both my boys have fallen for the same young lady. It's hardly surprising because you are beautiful in so many ways and I can see you with both my children. But you are going to break their hearts without even knowing it- I mean only one of them can have you." She smiles at me and addresses me with a look I haven't seen before. "It explains why Jake has been all over the place since Lucas brought you to meet us, I think he wishes he could kiss you and be loved by you. You know boys they like to share beautiful things." Sophie let out a small sigh and shook her head once more.

"They are both so lovely, but I love Lucas. Jake knows that and he understands. I would never betray Lucas." I replied and the words ripped my throat as the lie came out.

I had already betrayed Lucas, it was too late to act loyal. I didn't deserve this family, I never used to be a bad person-until now.

"Oh honey, I know you wouldn't. We all get a little caught up in things we don't understand. Besides don't you worry about Jake, I've got someone absolutely perfect in mind and he won't be able to keep his eyes off her!" Sophie smiled gleefully to herself and I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy in the pit of my stomach. "Nevertheless, Miya my dear, you should get some rest you look shattered."

I nodded slowly, my eyes suddenly feeling heavier than I had done previously. "I think I'm going to take a walk first. I could use the air." I muttered in response and Sophie gave me a brief kiss on the top of my head, before I excused myself and left the room.

My mind was spinning and there was only one place I could go and think. That was the secret garden; I knew it was highly unlikely Jake would be there, because he told me how his visits with me had been the first in a few years.

I shook my head viciously, no more goddamn thinking! I curled my hand into a fist and stomped to my car, before backing out of the drive and away from the house.