The Burning Secret

Chapter Twenty One

"What do you mean we need a break? Miya, what are you saying? We're over?" Lucas was asking loads of questions and his face was making my heart break more and more as the discussion continued.

We were sat on his bed and I was trying to make him understand, but it just wasn't working. I had to tell him about Jake and the thought made me feel physically sick. I let out a much needed sigh. "Look Lucas, I've been talking to Jake and.." I started.

Lucas ran his hands through his hair and let out a moan, closing his eyes in frustration. "He told you didn't he? I knew he would, he's always been too much of a good person. I didn't mean for it to happen Miya, trust me. She was just some girl she didn't mean anything." He spluttered the words out and I thought I had completely misheard him.

Woah. What? He had cheated on me. My Lucas had cheated on me. Now I definitely felt sick. "You had sex with someone else?" I whispered, my voice was barely audible. That must have been what Jake meant, when he said Lucas wasn't how he seemed.

It was Lucas's turn to look like he was going to throw up. "Wait, he didn't tell you? Fuck. I'm so sorry Miya. I'm begging you please forgive me. I love you so much. I got drunk ok and one thing led to another and I know that it's not an excuse. But my God, I am so sorry. I love you." This time he was begging and my mind was still trying to process.

I swallowed. I would have shouted, but I didn't have the right not after everything I had done to him too. "I kissed someone else. I mean we haven't had sex, but we've kissed." I admitted and Lucas sat down beside me. "Lucas, I love you, I do. But I can't be with you, if I like him too." I added and he breathed out a huge breath.

I thought he was going to shout at me, but he didn't, instead he gave me a hug and we both fell into the mattress, wrapped around one another. He stroked my head and kissed my nose gently. The interaction made me smile and I kissed his chest in response. "You know I wouldn't change a single thing about that summer." I said and I could feel his smile.

"Neither would I." He replied. "I'm sorry for all the things I did wrong Miya. You were the best thing that happened to me and I'll always love you, even when I'm old and smelly." He added.

"You're already smelly." I said and we both cracked up laughing. And it felt good, it felt like it used to. I knew we were going to be ok, because the time we had spent together was special and we would always cherish it. I would love him, because he was my first true love and I was grateful it was Lucas. I looked up at him, so that was it. We were finally over and a sad thought filled me, so I snuggled closer to him. "I loved you more than anything. I still do love you, I just wish it was still enough." I whispered into his chest.

I sat up suddenly then and stroked the side of his cheek. My lips hovered above his and then slowly they filled the gap and I pressed them against his. He kissed me back and it was soft and beautiful, but he wasn't Jake. I broke the kiss and returned to my previous position. "Just for old time's sake." We said at the same time, sending us both into hysterics again.

An hour or so later we both emerged from his room, after spending the time chatting and laughing. It was nice spending all that time together, although I still hadn't told him about Jake. We descended down the stairs together laughing and everyone was watching us: Sophie, Ian and even Jake were sat in the living room.

"What have you two been up to?" Sophie asked, as we both entered the room.

Lucas and I glanced at each other, before in sync announcing, "We broke up."

If the room wasn't silent before, now it definitely was. You would be able to hear a pin drop in here. "What do you mean you broke up?" Sophie gasped.

"We had a long chat and it just kind of happened." Lucas explained and Sophie looked to me, but I just nodded.

She rushed over to me and hugged me. "But I thought you loved him?" Her face was full of confusion and she looked like she might almost cry.
"I do love him, but it's not enough. Besides, Lucas and I will always be friends." I explained and Lucas raised his eyebrow at me. "Best friends." I corrected and he broke out into a smile.

Sophie's face seemed to crumble. "But--will you still come here?" She asked clearly worried and she looked like a child in that moment. I couldn't help but give her a huge hug.

"Are you kidding Sophie? You're my new mum, I adore you. Of course, I'll still be coming here." I said and she gave me the biggest smile I had ever seen her give. We both went over to the sofa and sat down together, huddling under a soft blanket while Ian put the fire on.

Jake glanced over at me and he gave me a small smile and I couldn't help myself but smile back at him. "Let's play a game." Lucas announced and went on the search for some cards. Jake headed to the kitchen for drinks for everyone.

"You know I don't mind which son of mine you end up with. They will both love you until their last breath and it means you'll officially be my daughter in law." She whispered and I gave her a small smile.
It wouldn't shock me if she knew about Jake and I; she was like Jake-or he was like her-in the way they both seemed to notice everything.

I huddled even closer to her then and she kissed the side of my head, just like my mother used to.