Repeat // Roger Taylor

two

"Why not?" Freddie asked for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"Freddie I told you I don't want to. And quite frankly I don't have to," I said while walking toward the back of the room to stack more records.

This was a regular occurrence. I go to work and Freddie tried to convince me to quit and start college.

"What are you so scared of?" He questioned and I turned around to face him.

"You of all people should understand. I don't see you going out and making friends and becoming someone in this world!" I was starting to get upset and Freddie noticed. Luckily, like most days, the store was empty. "Freddie I'm not going and that's final! I have enough money saved up I can move out whenever I want! And when Al dies, he's leaving the store to me! I'll own this fucking thing and I did it without a damn degree so get off my back! When you get out in the world and actually talk to someone other than me, then maybe I'll start thinking about college! But hell will freeze over before that happens!"

I quickly turned around and stormed off. I only took about four steps before I realized I was out of line, and by a lot. I turned around and Freddie just stood there with the most hurt and disappointed look I had ever seen.

"Let me tell you something you don't know," he said as he stepped over to me. His voice was deeper than usual and he didn't sound like himself at all. "I don't hang around you all the time because I can't make other friends. I can be as fake as I want in order to have people that call me pal, okay? I chose you. Because you were different. And I chose you because you were kind, you were smart, and you saw good in me when I didn't see it myself. But you've been scared your whole damn life to make a decision on your own which is why you've hidden behind your damn GED and records and childhood promises." He took one more step and got closer to my face, not in a threatening way, Freddie would never dare to hurt anyone especially not me, just close enough to show how serious he was. "Grow the hell up Ella." And with those five venomous words, he walked out leaving me alone.

I debated on rather I should chase after him or not, and after a good ten seconds I decided it was better to let him go. I messed up and I needed to feel guilt for a while. I turned back to the new order of records that had come in and finished stacking them. I usually played music while I did this, makes it go by faster. But this time I finished stacking in silence, with nothing more than my guilt and my ache for Freddie's hug.

When I finished it was a tad later than it usually was when I finished. I had heard thunder while I was working but only now had I really noticed the rain. It was coming down in large drops that seemed heavy enough to match the guilt in my chest that had not gone away. I took a deep breath and walked out into the rain and began walking down to my house, though it was only a block away, it seemed like a mile. After finally arriving to my front door I twisted the doorknob to only find it was locked. I mentally cussed at myself and began knocking loudly for my parents to answer. It was about the fifteenth knock when a piece of wet paper caught my eye. I saw I'm smeared black ink my moms handwriting.