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I try not to hate things. I find it unnecessary and unhealthy and I don't think Jesus would like it if I was full of hate. But I really hate three things. Lying. High heels. And Keeping secrets from Freddie.
Roger and I had been going out for three weeks and moments like our first one in his apartment seems to happen quite often. And Freddie still has no idea. Nobody in the band does. At least if they do they haven't said anything to us. I'm crazy about Roger and I want the boys to know, I just want it to be on my terms. Freddie's my best friend. And I hate keeping things from him.
"Are you all right?" Brian asked and I mumbled a quick answer and went back to work. We were studying together at the library. He had a chemistry exam in the morning and I had an English paper due next Tuesday.
"You sure about that?" He questioned and had a bit of a chuckle as he did so.
"Yes I'm fine, why?"
He pointed down at my paper and I had broken the end of my pencil off without knowing. I sighed and dug another one out of my bag. My bag was a mess. My room was always clean and organized but my backpack was a complete mess. I'm not sure why one bothered me and not the other.
"What's on your mind, Ella?" Brian folded his notebook, showing me that I had his full attention.
"I was just thinking about the grade I got on my last paper and what I should do to make sure I get an A on this one."
Brian was probably the smartest person I knew. And he was good with people. He never pushed or asked for much. He was patient and a very good listener. And, to my dismay, he was great at telling truth from a lie.
"You don't have to tell me. But I wish you would. You've seemed anxious lately. I'd like to help you if I can," he replied and I felt my stomach tighten up. This always happened when I was caught in a lie.
"Do you know?" I asked bluntly.
"Know what?"
"You know what, Brian."
"Yes."
"Did he tell you or did you figure it out?" I asked. I wasn't angry at Roger either way. I just wanted to know.
"Well, I asked Roger. He always stared at you during rehearsals you showed up to, but only last week did I notice you staring back."
I couldn't help but smile. Just the picture of Roger playing the drums made me genuinely happy. He was so sexy and radiant when he played. It was one of my favorite things to do, watch that boy.
"You can't tell Freddie," I said quietly.
He nodded in agreement and reached out for my hand. I grabbed his and gave him a soft smile.
"I know you and Fred have a real bond. But the lad deserves to know. You mean a lot to him and I know he means a lot to you. He'll be happy, Ella."
