All In The Mind

4

John had been in hospital for a few days now and Freddie was on his way to visit him. Roger and Brian had to do music stuff, Freddie wasn't in the mood. He had been by John's side as much as he possibly could to try and make him remember.

"Morning" John smiled as Freddie walked through the door

"Hello" Freddie sat at the end of his bed

John took a deep stare at Freddie.

"Still nothing?" Freddie asked

"Sorry" John looked down

"It's alright" Freddie said. It wasn't alright, Freddie was heartbroken

"It's not that I'm not trying, I really am" John said

"Don't worry John. It's only been a few days, give yourself time" Freddie smiled

"You've got a nice smile" John was still staring at Freddie

Freddie blushed hard, "that's what you said on our first date"

"Really? I don't even remember coming out if I'm honest. How long have we been together?" John quizzed

"Nearly a year" Freddie said

"Wow. You must be special" John giggled

"I'll take that as a compliment" Freddie raised an eyebrow

"I just- I don't know what to do" John brought his hands to his face as he began to sob

Freddie sat forward on John's hospital bed and hugged him tight. This would usually comfort him but he wouldn't remember how Freddie's embrace made him feel.

"There is something familiar about your hug. I fit perfectly against you" John blurted out, trying to make sense of everything

"It must be scary, not knowing things" Freddie started a new conversation, he didn't want to get his hopes up that John remembered him

"Yeah. I don't know where I live, where I work, what I do" John listed his struggles

"Do you want me to try and explain everything?" Freddie offered

"Yeah. Maybe I'll remember something" John smiled

"Ok. So we live in a big house with Roger and Brian. It's on a nice, quiet lane with a street lamp outside the front door." Freddie explained, "Brian's car is always sat on the street, you and Roger keep yours in the garage" Freddie thought the mention of cars would help him remember Roger, but there was nothing. John was like a school pupil learning about the world, he was taking it all in and nodding

"It sounds really good" John smiled

"When are they letting you out?" Freddie asked

"Tomorrow hopefully" John said

"Great. I'll be here with the other two to pick you up" Freddie put his hand on John's

John's arm tensed up.

"Hey it's ok" Freddie leaned in to kiss John. His lips puckered and eyes closing.

John dodged Freddie's kiss, "I'm sorry Freddie but I know know you" he explained softly, knowing it would upset Fred too

"I want to do anything to get you back, to get your memory back" A single tear fell down Freddie's cheek, he was desperate

"Shall we start over again? Until my memory comes back then we can pick up where we left off" John smiled

"Yeah. That would be lovely. I'm Freddie" Freddie put his hand out and John shook it

"I'm John" He smirked

"So John, May I take you on a date as soon as you get out of here?" Freddie held John's hand

"That would be nice" John squeezed Freddie's hand a bit

"I'm already looking forward to it" Freddie beamed

John sat back on his bed, he was feeling a bit tired. The blankets went up to the top of his stomach and his pillows were positioned perfectly for him.

"Freddie, I know I have friends - you and Brian and Roger. But do I have family? The doctors keep asking if I want to contact them, but I don't know them" John looked over at Freddie sleepily

"They didn't accept you when you told them we were dating. There were a lot of arguments. That's when you moved in with me and you haven't spoken since" Freddie explained

"Oh- ok, thank you" John fell asleep shortly after that, his hand still holding Freddie's.