CheckMate

Chapter 9: I Love you...

"Well it started when I was approached by some people Erik used to mess with". He nodded. "They told me about what he did and how he treated them and I felt for them". I spoke.

"I see...continue". He ushered me and I did.

"So when they told me the plan to treat Erik they way he did them, I thought it was smart. I didn't see that they were just bitter girls looking for revenge". My tone was filled with such remorse. I felt bad for what I did sincerely.

"Would you take back anything you did?" He asked

"In a heartbeat. Seeing him now makes me feel like a bitch". I admitted.

"Tell me your feelings for him". I looked to Erik slowly. "No, no, no, don't look at him, he isn't here. He's not even in this conversation. I want you to look at me, and tell me what YOU feel about him not what you think he wants to hear".

I nodded, and I watched as the therapist placed headphones over Erik's ears, what I didn't catch was that there wasn't any music playing. I wasn't paying much attention.

"I love him, I love the way his dimples pop from his face when he smiles, I love how he always threatens me to pour cold water over me when I'm asleep. I love how he treats me when we are in the public eye and even how he treats me when nobody is around. I love his personality, the way he speaks, the way he carries himself. The fact that he has to do a double take in the mirror before he leaves the house. I love the way his eyes sparkle in the moonlight when he's laying beside me in bed. I don't know how he was with the other women, but I love how compassionate and sweet he is with me. I just love him...I wish I didn't fuck up so bad."

"I like this new look you have going on, is this how you coped?"

"I thought if I changed my appearance I would be able to forget, maybe look at someone else in the mirror. But I can't. All I see is a asshole and a bitch!"

"You aren't a bitch!" Erik spoke up taking off the headphones.

"I thought you couldn't hear!" I spoke

"Ain't no music playing! I understand why you did it. I forgive you..I just I need time. To heal, and move on". He admitted and I already knew what that meant. Move on from me, find someone else to give all his loving to. Someone who will appreciate it.

I didn't like hearing it, and I wouldn't hear it. "I'm sorry. I hope you heal from all the damage I've caused". I walked over to him, kneeled in front of him and kissed his forehead. "Thank you, for being yourself with me Erik. I'll never forget how happy you've made me. I love you". I smiled genuinely in his face, before rising and leaving the office.

I didn't need to be there any more, I spoke my piece and I told him what I wanted to say. I'm sorry about what I did and I meant that. Now home is where I'm going to return. After I find some courage to board another plane.

~~~~~~~~~~
When I got back home, I finally got back to work. Getting back into the swing of things when I knew Sandra and Josea had some questions.

"Girl I know you ain't leave us for months and think you was gonna come back without details". Josea spoke and I just knew I wasn't going to get away with that.

"You know those girls who started a brawl in here". I spoke and Sandra and Josea both nodded. "Well you see what had happened was...."

And I told them the entire story, from start to finish. They listened the entire time intensively. Wanting every detail, even the Hawaii part. I told them everything.

"Woah! You should have told me. I would have told you listening to them bitches was gonna put you in the hole". Josea spoke. "I ain't on Team Erik neither. Hell he was the player of the century, he deserved some punishment".