Every Little Thing

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

That night, we lay down in bed and I lay my head on his chest like the night before. We both doze off and later during the night, I jerk awake and run to the bathroom getting sick. Happy is right behind me, holding my hair and rubbing my back. I rinse my mouth and just stand there at the sink trying to catch my breath. I feel a panic attack coming on and I can't stop it. I start hyperventilating and feel Happy turn me around and he sits me on the counter and is face to face with me. "Breathe baby. Come one. Slow deep breaths. Breathe with me." I breathe in and out at the same time that he does and start to get my breathing under control. Once the attack passes Happy says, "Talk to me." I say "I'm okay. It was just a nightmare. Let's head back to bed." He pulls me close to him and says "No one will hurt you again." I feel the tears start falling and he just holds me. "Talk to be babe. I got you." he says again. "In the dream, he found me. Had me tied to some sort of table and he, uh, was raping me and when he was done, he, uh, started choking me. That's when I woke up. I couldn't breathe." I tell him. Picking me up, he carries me to the bed and lays me down. Laying next to me, he pulls me to him. He kisses me softly on the lips and I feel him rubbing his hand up and down my back until I finally doze back off.

Waking up the next morning, I am in bed alone. I hear voices in the living room and get out of bed. I walk into the living room and see Happy talking to Juice and Tig. Before I head to the kitchen, I ask, "You guys staying for breakfast?" Juice says "No. Just wanted to see how you were doing." I look at Happy and he nods. "I'll be okay. Still having nightmares. Had a bad one last night. Threw me into a panic attack." I say. "I used to have those. But if you want, I can have Janie come by after work to talk to you." Juice says. "That would be great. Thank you." I excuse myself to the kitchen and let them talk while I get breakfast going.

After Tig and Juice leave, Happy comes to the kitchen and I don't look at him. He walks to the counter beside where I am and leans against the counter. "Come here." he says. I walk over to him and he pulls me into his arms. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't need to. Just having his arms around me makes me feel safer. I pull back and just look at him. He leans down and kisses me softly. Picking me up, he sits me on the counter and kisses me again. He deepens the kiss while his hands are rubbing my hips. I feel my body responding and it's been a long time since I have had this kind of reaction to a man. I pull away and we just look at each other. I reach over and turn off the stove and turn back to him. Kissing him again, I pull his shirt up and pull it over his head. His lips crash back onto mine and I feel his hands pulling at the hem of my shirt. I let him pull the shirt over my head and he picks me up and carries me to the bedroom.

Laying me down on the bed, he hovers over me and starts kissing me again. He starts to slide my shorts down and memories pop into my head and I start to fight him. He immediately stops and I cover my face saying "I'm sorry." I get up off the bed and run to the bathroom and close the door. "Lacey, let me in babe. It's okay." he says. I slide down the wall and sob into my hands. Happy doesn't say anything other than that it's okay.

Shortly after, I am still in the bathroom crying and I hear Janie outside the door. "Lacey? Sweetheart, open the door." she says. I get up and unlock the door and she comes in and closes it behind her. "Are you okay?" she asked. "No. I thought I was ready Janie." I say. "Tell me what happened." she says. "We started kissing and made our way to the bedroom. I was fine when he took my shirt off and we were kissing but when he started taking my shorts off, I started freaking out." I say. "Lacey, it's okay. I was the same way after my attack. Happy won't hurt you. Juice told me about your nightmares and I think that might still be in the front of your mind. But you can't let this stop you from moving forward. What you did? That was progress honey. That's a good thing." she tells me. "But that's not fair to Happy. He needs someone that can give him what he needs. I can't do that." I say as the tears start falling again. Happy opens the door and kneels in front of me. "Baby, don't worry about me. I know this won't be easy for you but we won't do anything you aren't ready for." he says. "That's not fair to you." I say. "I'm a big boy babe. This is about you. I just want you to be okay." he tells me. We come out of the bathroom and I sit on the edge of the bed with Janie next to me. "Can, uh, you help me get moved to a hotel room?" I asked Janie. Before she could answer, Happy asked "You wanna leave?" I look at my hands and don't answer. He kneels in front of me again and says "You don't have to go. Talk to me baby." I wipe away the tears and say "I wanted to be ready. I thought I was, Happy. I'm so sorry." I say sobbing. He pulls me into his arms and kisses the top of my head and says "Baby, look at me." I look up at him and he says "You're my girl. Period. It doesn't matter how long it takes for you to heal, I'm not going anywhere and neither are you." Janie slips out the door as Happy sits down on the bed and pulls me into his lap. I just put my head on his shoulder and he holds me while whispering that it's going to be okay.