Solitary ~Minsung~

Chapter 2

I wake up, my throat coarse and head foggy as I look around the blaring white infirmary. My memories begin to come back to me, so I lift up my shirt to see my body littered with bruises from him. The thought of him makes me curl up and begin to cry, my breathing becoming shallow.

The door to the room opens and I look up to see my usual nurse, who approaches me with a sombre look, carrying ointment and bandages in her hands. She tries to lift up my shirt to apply the ointment, but I cower away from her.

"Hey, Jisungie, It's okay. This will make you feel better" she says soothingly; however, I still curl up in the corner of my bed as far away from her as possible. She reaches out to touch me and I scream, not wanting her, or anyone else, near me. The nurse tries to calm me down, but I begin lashing out violently, trying to attack her. I hit her and knock the opened ointment onto the floor, creating a growing pool at her feet. She looks at me sternly and grabs a needle from her back pocket as I continue to hit her. She stabs the needle into my leg and I slowly stop hitting, succumbing to the sedative.

~

I wake up again in the infirmary, however this time as I try to move I realise that I can't. My arms and legs are confined by thick leather straps and I begin to writhe around, screaming for help. Dr. Seo enters with a nurse as I continue to scream. He reaches down to pat my leg-

"DON'T TOUCH ME" I yell, with more emotion than everything I had ever said to him in our sessions combined.

He retracts his hand and turns to the nurse.

"We are going to put him back in his usual room, but keep him separate. So no roommate, no communal eating or free time. This attack has worsened his anxiety immensely and I don't want him trying to harm himself again... so at the moment this is our only option. We will readdress in a couple weeks. For now, I will leave. Sedate him nurse so you can return him to his own bed, in his own room, and then leave him alone for a little while."

As I hear this my breathing begins to quicken at the thought of them touching me, but I am under again before I can give it much more thought.

~

The past couple weeks have been long, with my nightmares worse than ever, meaning my amount of sleep has decreased further. The only person I see anymore is Dr. Seo and the lunch lady, who slides my meals across the table to me, wanting for her sake (and my own) to keep her distance. Dr. Seo visits every day at the usual time for our sessions and this time changes his questions. Asking me about the attack, to which I just whimper in response and cower into the corner.

Every day the doctor moves a little closer and every day at the start my heart begins to race at the distance, and then slows as the session moves on. By the end of the second week the doctor is sitting a metre from me, trying to accustom me to this closer distance.

"How are you doing Jisung?"

"I'm bored" I reply sadly, feeling like the me had been drained out of me, with just a hollow body remaining. "I want to see the others, play ping pong with them, do my art and singing classes with them. I miss it."

The doctor looks at me and sighs. "Are you ready for that Jisung, what if someone comes close to you? Will you start relentlessly screaming again?"

"I... I... I don't know..."

As I say this the doctor stands and moves a step closer, reaching his hand out to try and touch me. My breathing again becomes ragged as I try to move away. However, he moves closer, placing his hand on my shoulder and I start to cry silently, as I bite my lip to hold back my sobs.

"Okay, we'll try you back in normal group settings and see what happens. However, part of that is that you will get a new roommate."

I nod in response, bored of solitary.

"Okay, I'll back later, I'll see who we can get."