Finding Ways to Love

Shatter

The noise of alarm jolted me from my sleep. I stared around with half eyes shut hoping to find my phone to shut the damn alarm up. But my attempts were in vain.

"Ugggh...Ok I m up", I cried, now sitting up straight. But the noise was only increasing with each passing moment. After almost several attempts of search I finally found my phone beneath my bum. Yes I was sleeping on it.

Finally switching it off, I yawned. How much ever I craved to go back to sleep I have to go to work. After all you need money for survival.

After another bouts of yawns, I started dragging myself towards the bathroom. But my legs came to a sudden halt. Standing in front of me was a girl in a white wedding gown. Her eyes had black bags under them and make up was fully smudged, her hair was now falling out in all possible directions. And then realization struck me. The girl was me. It was my reflection I was staring at.

The cold water running down my body made me realize that my senses were still working.I wanted scream, shout, curse him but nothing came out.

Draping a towel around me, I stepped out of the bathroom. As I looked around the room, I saw my bag kept at one corner. I was sure it was not there at night. So someone came in while I was sleeping. Was it him.

I closed my eyes as felt anger rise through me as his thoughts crossed my mind.

Dressed in jeans and a plain grey top, I sat on the bed checking my phone. It was flooded with msgs congratulating me for the marriage. There were even a missed calls. I laughed at the irony of the situation.People were congratulating us for a marriage that dont mean anything to me or him.Yes we were binded by vows together, forever maybe. But they didnt hold any meaning for me or Aaron. I closed my eyes, trying to control the emotions that were raging to come out.

A knock on the door, forced me to open my eyes. I stared at the door, as

someone knocked again. Who could it be...him.Taking a deep breath, I walked upto the door opening it. Standing infront of me was a lady holding a tray. She shook her head greeting me as I continue to stare at her.

"May I", she asked and I realized I was standing in her way. I just nodded opening the door wide. She walked and kept the tray on the table.

"If you need anything Maam you can call me", she said politely before leaving.

My stomach grumbled at the sight of food. I dont even remember when was the last time I had food properly. I dived in, relishing my taste buds finally findind some relief for my stomach.

My rest of the day was spent either on the phone or randomly flipping tbe magzines or sleeping. It was almost midnight when my phone flashed low battery. Dragging myself out of the bed, I searched through my entire bag to find my charger but it wasn't there.

Contempling the various options I had in hand, actually the option which I had was to go out and ask for a charger. But I wasnt ready to leave my room. I left safe here.I wasnt yet ready to face anyone, or him specifically.

Finally, with no other way left, I stepped out of my room. My jaw almost dropped to the floor as I stared around the house.Huge would be inappropriate word for it.It was perfect, beautifully decorated and almost resembled a pricess mansion. I knew Aaron was rich, that was the only reason I had to marry him. Pushing back the thoughts, I was happy that the house was so huge. Atleast we both can live with crossing each others way.

I saw the same women who had come to give my food.On seeing me she hurried to me."Do you want anything Mam", she asked.

"Ya actually, my phone has completed drained and I guess I dont have charger.So I needed one.", I answered.

"Its must be in your room, Mam", she said looking at me.

"I did search my ro...",I said but was cut off by her in between. "I mean in Sir's room".

My mouth form in a small o as i heard it. Chewing on my lower lips, I said in a low voice hoping to get a positive reply this time. "Will you get it for me", I asked keeping my fingers crossed.

"We are not allowed to go in Sir's room, accept for cleaning", she replied.

Ok was the only thing that came out of mouth, as I knew her answer left me only one option now.I stared at her for some more time, I could feel she had become nervous due to the constants stares I was giving her.

"Can you tell me where is Aaron's room?".This time it was her turn to stare.I know it looks weird when a wife asks for her husband's room, but I guess by now they must be knowing that we don't stay in the same room.

"It on the second floor, second to the left", she finally replied.Mouthing a quick thank you, I slipped out from there.

Nervousness filled in me, as I stood outside his room. I knew he wasn't there inside, but still stepping in his room was filling me with an un-nerving sensation.

"You just have to go inside, take the charger and get out", I said to myself, turning the knob and stepping inside.

I made my way to the table which was there at corner of the bed and opened it, hoping to find the charger there. But something else caught my eye. Lying there in the drawer was a frame with a photo of three of us. Ester, I and Aaron. With trembling hands I took it out. It was photo from our high school time. A small smile crept on my lips, as memories of past clouded my mind.

"What are you doing here", the voice made me jump, causing the frame to slip from my hand. It fell on the ground shattering into pieces.

I looked up to see him standing at the door. His face held a blank expression as he stared at the photo covered with shattered pieces of glass lying on the floor. Taking two long strides he gaped the distance between us. He stared at me, his eyes piercing me. He still held that blank look making it difficult to make out what was going on his mind.

"You are given your room. You are supposed to stay there", his voice was cold, almost making me shiver.

"I was just trying to find....", but he gripped me by arms pulling me towards him before I could complete my sentence.

His eyes screamed hatred, something that I dont deserve. Something that havent done anything to recieve.

"Dont ever dare to enter my room again. Dont dare to touch anything of mine. Understand?", he spat, futher digging his fingers into my arm, making me cringe in pain.

"I...I", my lips trembled as tried to protest. But he just pushed me off, making almost stumble.

I wanted to shout, protest, scream, curse him, but nothing came out.His behavoiur totally stunned me. And the important part, I was scared.Too scared to protest, too scared to say anything.

"Get out", he almost screamed.Tears flowed from my eyes as I ran out the room. I ran and ran till I reached my room. Closing the door behind me I slumped on the ground. My entire body was shivering. Wrapping my hands around me, I sat there as tears continued to flow from my eyes. He wasn't the man I knew. He wasn't Aaron that I knew from so many years. He was someone very different. Someone who was close to a monster.

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A/N

Another part up...hope you enjoy reading..

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