Dear Emma, Love Killian. |COMPLETED|

Day 6

Dear Emma,

Six days? Is that it? It feels like loads more. How has it only been six days?

Time moves so slowly when I need you back in my arms to hold. I need for you to embrace me, hold me tight and never let go, just like I've done for you all this time.

I'm once again finding myself writing this letter to you, wiping the tears which stray across my face as my hand shakes, trying to hold this paper down with one hand as my hook shakes as I wait for you to squeeze it back.

I think the thing which is killing me a little more now is that you'll most likely never know what I was going to say to you today, if we were still living that dream, not this reality.

The worst thing about all of today is was that today was the day things were supposed to change. Yes I'll agree they've changes Em, but all for the wrong reasons.

I bet your wondering why, what would be so important I'd forget all about it? So I'll tell you, it'll probably make me cry even more, but that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because I'm never going to stop.

I went back home today like I usually do and left your parents with you for comfort. I said goodbye and headed home in David's truck.

I got home a dropped the bags at the door with the dirty clothes and I went into the kitchen.

When I got into the kitchen, I grabbed a glass and rummaged through the cupboards to find a bottle of rum which I poured into the cup, spilling some on the sides, but not caring and left it there.

I then had a drink and place the cup on the side then I realised the calendar was on the wrong month. I stepped over to turn it over to May.

The next part is really breaking me inside Em, and no I can't contain my tears. God save me.

I stopped and looked up at the calendar noticing a day circled in a thick red pen. The 14th of may. I read the text carelessly scribbled on and realised it said "Operation Happy Ending."

I bet your wondering what this means as it's another one of your son's miscellaneous codes. Well I'm going to tell you. It'll kill me but I'll tell you.

It was the day I was going to propose Em. The day I thought everything would change and we would finally be happy. God, how I was wrong. If I could turn back time I'd stop all of this and make sure you'd never leave me, but I can't. That'll kill me more every day now.

With my hands on my head, up my thoughts still killing me inside and grabbed a Biro pen out of the drawer next to me, where I had threw the start of Emma's letter.

So, without any thoughts in my mind except from those of the proposal, I crossed the words off the calendar, tears starting to drown me.

After this, I made my up the stairs to our room and threw the bags in the corner, still crying. I gave up an collapsed into the bed on your side, squeezing your pillow and fell asleep.

It was almost an hour later when I woke up and realized what time it was. I'd slept in for an hour and was late back for you.

I got ready the quickest I possibly could and gathered some more clothed for the pair of us before running downstairs and heading back to hospital.

You see Emma, I may be a pirate but I'm not going to walk the plank from your parents shouts at me! I bet when you read this you'll laugh at my silly jokes, one day.

I got back to the hospital and apologized to your parents and they headed home to get your brother. I got back into the bed with you and held you tight again.

I'll keep holding you tight and hope that one day you'll hold me tight.

Until then I'll wait.
I'd wait a thousand years for you to hold me tight.

Until then, I'll keep watching you sleep and wipe my own tears away.

Always and forever.

Love Killian.