Dark Heroes: chapter one

Warren

As soon as I heard I packed my things and went back, for the first time in years to the town I'd grown up in. I was now staying in a run down motel, with no central heating and a bathtub that nobody had apparently thought to clean in years. I gave myself the first day to get settled and to try and calm my nerves - Lot's of tea as I'd promised myself I wouldn't drink. I wanted to have a clear head when I went to visit her. 

The next morning I dressed up, a pretty outfit and some toned down makeup. Curled my hair. Put on some heels, grabbed a jacket and was out the door. I opened the door and in the hallway, walked past a tall brunette girl, in shorts and a faded top. Her eyes looked sunken in and her ribs were practically pushing out from under her shirt. She looked pale and hungover, her hair scraped back in a tangled bun. My eyes didn't have time to adjust to how classically beautiful her features were, I was too busy trying not to stare at her. Part of me wanted to stop what I was doing and take her to get some food. It broke my heart to see people like this. I tried to offer her a meek smile as I walked past but her focus was on the newspaper at her feet and she didn't see me.

With my motel room key and purse in my bag, I called a taxi over and told the woman where to go. I was staying as far away from anyone I might know as possible and it was quite a drive to the other side of town. I rested my face against the dewy window, letting the cool glass press against my heated face. As we neared the church I pressed my eyes shut tight, trying to ignore where we were, suddenly regretting my choice to come here. "That'll be £28 please hun" The taxi driver said and I grabbed two £20's from my purse. "Keep the change". Taken aback by how much I overpaid, she tried to protest but I was already out of the car and walking away. 

As I reached the rusted gate I hesitated. This was a ridiculous idea. Someone could see me. Someone could recognise me. I had to get out of there. But I didn't move. I held my breath and stepped through the gate. Now all I had to do was find her.  Not that she would want to see me. Not that she would want me to come. I pulled my arms tight around myself, took a quick glance around to make sure the place was empty and started walking through the crowded stretch of land, looking closely at all of the worn stones scattered about the earth, to see the names engraved on their surfaces. 

It wasn't long until I found her. 'Here lies Lauren Eileen Morris', it read, 'Taken from her loving family too young. She will always be remembered'. I felt like a rug had been pulled out from under my feet and I knelt down, because I didn't think I could stand, my hands sinking into the earth, dirt coating my fingernails. I had expected to cry but no tears were forming. Instead my breath was coming out in strangled gasps, my head spinning. Something was in my chest, squeezing my heart, making it beat too fast and my thoughts were everywhere and nowhere all at once and I had pins and needles in my hands and arms and head and I could't breath and I felt sick. A panic attack. I sat back on my heels and tried to steady my breathing but every time I shut my eyes all I saw was the look of horror on Lauren's face all those years ago when she tried to cry for help. Oh God this was all my fault. I had done this. All my fault. "Lauren" I spluttered. "Lauren I'm so - I'm so  - so sorry" My words burst out through my sobs and I held my arms around my chest, trying to make myself as small as possible. 

I sat there for almost an hour, not moving a muscle, eyes shut tight, mud covering my legs, my dress completely destroyed, mascara dripping down my face. Without noticing her come up behind me, I felt someone's hand on my shoulder and  I stiffened, the contact alarming me. "Um. Miss. Are you..okay?" I lifted my head up and looked into the face of the girl from the motel.