Dark Heroes: chapter one

Kody

She sat there, eyebrows raised, lips slightly parted in an expression of surprise, until I could take the suspense no longer and broke the silence "Um. Are you okay over there?", my fingers waggling in front of her nose in a wave-like-gesture. Her mouth snapped shut, but her eyes stayed wide, her eyebrows still abnormally high. Several times, her mouth opened and shut again; i could practically hear her mind whirring with possible outcomes from the bomb I had just dropped on her, and I decided patience was probably the best way to go. As she sat there quietly, I reached over, poured her a glass of whatever I was drinking and set it on the dresser beside her, gently untying her hands from the arms of the chair.

 Finally she cleared her throat and said, "No. No that's not possible. It was a suicide." As she said it, her voice caught, as if the word 'suicide' was stuck in her throat, and the look in her eyes was far sadder than before. "What makes you say that?", I spoke gently, not wanting to upset her too much. "What makes me say that? What the fuck are you talking about? Of course it was suicide! She was found with a god damn razor blade in her hand!"

"Yes, I know, but what reason did she have to kill herself? All reports said she was happy! A classic blonde, middle class, white girl, on the football team with straight A grades? How can you be so sure it was suicide?"

"Because I'm the reason she did it!"

As she yelled I felt a strong wave wash over me, an overpowering desire to do whatever she told me, forcing me to take an involuntary step back. "Oh shit. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry didn't mean to do that" All fury, immediately gone from her voice, leaving a hollow, quiet tone, and she said something that sounded like 'For fuck's sake, control yourself' under her breath. After a moment to pull myself back to my senses, I knelt down in front of her, "No err. That's okay. I'm fine" Again, I saw her sad eyes start to swell with unshed tears and cast desperately around to make her feel better "How do you do that?", I asked tentatively. "What?" She sniffed. "make people do what you want?"

"It's not what I want!" Composing herself quickly, she said, much softer "It's what I say, not what I want. It sometimes happens without meaning to, if I'm emotional. But I've gotten better. I try not to use it often." Shakily, her hand moved to the glass beside her and she pushed it to her lips, her nose scrunching and her eyes squinting as she swallowed the bitter, burning liquid.

"Why?" I asked in a muted, almost laugh "If I had a superpower, I'd use it all the time" 

"It's not a superpower," I thought I could see a faint smile on her lips, "More like a curse. And I don't like to use it because, a few times...It's gone wrong."

I sensed she had more to say so I waited. After a weighty sigh, she finally told me what she had been hiding "That's what happened to Lauren. When we were kids I... I used it on her. She was 'going out with'," at this point she made air quotes with her fingers, "my best friend. And I got jealous. Not of her, but of him. I wanted to be the one she spent all her time with. I wanted to be the one to hold her hand on the playground, and dance with her at the school dance. And one day, we were all playing and I just snapped. I was... I was so angry. I yelled at her to shut up and," another deep breath, a sip of vodka, "She never spoke again." 

"Holy shit" Was all I could manage, and I, myself took a long gulp of vodka, the familiar scorching sensation in the back of my throat, sharpening my focus (or so I told myself), only briefly did it register in my brain that she liked girls. "That's why you're so sure she took her own life" It wasn't a question, I already knew the answer. I slowly raised my hands and placed them gently on Warren's knees. "Please let me help you. Let me show you why I'm so sure I'm right. Maybe you'll see that this wasn't your fault. You can move on and you wont have to carry this guilt around with you anymore" Eyes wider than I had seen them so far, full of something that looked a lot like hopeful desperation. "Okay" was all she said and she moved her hands so they were resting faintly on top of my own.