Never Have I Ever

Chapter 5

Everyone regards each other suspiciously, expecting someone to own up to giving him the ludicrous idea. Celia stands up, and walks towards the house silently. I follow her in.

“Have you-”

“What do you think, Seraph,” her voice slicing into me with unbridled anger. “Why do you think I’ve gone in here alone to go to my room? I’m expected to help him complete his challenge, but to play the game I’m expected to reveal everything. Not even you know about this. I-”

“You don’t have to talk.”

“One of my friends makes his own ecstasy pills. We used to be together, just a bit of sport, not an actual relationship, even when I was with Ember. I was addicted to both the drugs and the sex. It was just a fling, but I’ve been on it sometimes when I hit the worst. I’m not going to a psychiatrist for my depression, so I turned to drugs, okay? Now let me get the goddamn pills and get this shit over with.”

I never expected this. I know she has had problems with her mental health, but I presumed she’d gone to sort it out instead of turning to illegal substances. I never saw her as someone particularly dangerous or that would take risks. I guess everything about everyone is coming out tonight.

Celia comes back downstairs with a small tube that once contained vitamins. We walk to the garden in silence, and seeing Celia carrying her load Ember’s eyes go wide.

“You’re not… You didn’t…”

“Fields, on three?”

“Wait, what?”

“On three?”

“Yeah, fine,” says Jack, his expression unreadable. He’s forced himself to become nothing, nothing to arouse either happiness or hatred, like or dislike. He’s gone into a silent shock, the one where nobody can rescue him. He has to do it alone.

And then the film passes over his eyes, making them glassy, the same way Camila’s were earlier. I cringe inwardly, and Thomas eyes his best friend with uncharted confusion. Him and Celia count down and then take the pills. Ember hovers anxiously, waiting for the telltale sound that it’s going badly in his system. But a few minutes pass, and another few without major incident, and I feel as if I can breathe again. Chelsea stands, and the rest of us retake our seats.

“Never have I ever set fire to a book.”

She walks into the garden shed and raids some mower fuel, and then finds a copy of Of Mice and Men in the living room. She douses it in fuel and throw it into the fire pit, and we watch it go up in flames.

“I always hated Steinbeck,” says Camila, breaking the silence that befell the group. “I had to study him back in Havana as part of my preparation for American culture. Fat lot of good it did. I learned absolutely nothing about California from that book. Glad to see it burned.”

“Who’s turn next?”

“Mine,” I say, already dreading it. The others sit, and I stand. I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what’s to come. “Never have I ever gotten a tattoo.”

Time stops, and I take a step forwards. Ember looks into my eyes, and upon deciding I’m still myself, she breaks into a grin.

“For real?”

“Ember, get your shit together, I’ll meet you in the dining room.”

“Holy crap,” she says, before practically bouncing into the house. Thomas and Celia smirk at me.

“For real?” asks Thomas, a mocking parody of Ember. “I will pay to watch her go all weird on you. What’s she drawing on you?”

“I’m not sure yet. Some kind of flower.”