Never Have I Ever

Chapter 6

The next morning, I sneak back to my room before the alarms, flashing Thomas one last smile. I mess my bed covers, desperately trying to make it appear as if I was sleeping there last night. I jump in the shower, locking all the multiple doors into the room and spend fifteen minutes under the hot water, feeling normal for the first time in the last twenty-four hours. All too soon, there’s a knock on the door from Jack’s side and I run back to my room. I shimmy into my jeans and Halsey shirt, and make my way down to the kitchen, rubbing my eyes.

Chelsea stands there already, cooking pancakes while singing softly, and something strikes me about her again. How she can do such horrific things but then be singing a few hours later without anything bothering her. I wonder how her brain works. It is a mystery to me, and I don’t like it. But she’s singing a few boy band songs from about five years ago and I have to suppress a smile. It’s as strange as finding Ember singing country music in an unironic way. But I go in nevertheless and help silently. Chelsea flashes me a grateful smile as she sets off an alarm as I wobble into the dining room with a towering stack of pancakes. Her makeup is pristine even at eight in the morning, and it’s a feat I’ve never accomplished.

“Thanks,” she says as I walk back into the kitchen to collect toppings from the stack she’s created. “I know yesterday was kinda-”

“Messed up?”

“I was gonna say weird, but okay. It was kinda messed up, and, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for dragging you all into this.”

“It’s a bit late for that now, O’Callahan. I’m sorry, but even if I forgive you you’ll have a hard time convincing them. Just a quick question. Who out of our group do you see as the leader?”

“Is that even a question? You. They listen to you.”

“Not true. I might be the mouthpiece, but Thomas and Celia call the shots. I would trust the two of the with my life. Although this may be the one time they’ve been proven to be wrong.”

“It was Camila’s choice, I think,” says Chelsea, deep in thought. “She instigated. But as soon as someone does, the game begins regardless because it’s inevitable within a group of friends.”

“I guess so, but I’m just saying, our group dynamics aren’t what they’re cracked up to be. Jack’s gearing up to go nuts at me and Camila’s jealousy is eating away at her and Celia and Ember are about to be at each other‘s throats and Thomas is acting weird and we need to define the relationship and I need to sort this thing out with Sam and we need to set friendship boundaries and I don’t know what Mason’s deal is. But I do know this. If you don’t make peace now, you three will be blamed for it. I’ve been running with these guys for long enough.”

“If you say so, Seraph. Just watch your back. I know you read Sam’s diary. It was out of place, slightly out, and the dust disturbed. You’re lucky I saw before he worked it out. I dusted the whole shelf to hide your tracks. What did it say?”

“I think you already know.”

“You’re right, I think I do. Was it the ‘knock her down a peg’ or the sex one?”

“The ‘knock her down a peg one’. There’s a sex one? That kid is fucked up beyond all recognition.”

“Sam is FUBAR, but we usually ignore that. He’s good at what he does.”

“Which is?”

“I’ll tell the story later, before we restart the game, okay?”

“I will hold you to that. It’s Camila’s turn, right?”

“Yeah,” she says, as Mason walks in, rubbing his eyes. He snatches a pancake from the stack and shoves it in his mouth. He waves at me and walks into the garden, where the sun is already up and the light glinting off the water we used to douse the fire.