Never Have I Ever

Chapter 13

They collect the materials I’ve asked for, and Thomas stands at my side. He hands me a metal stick in my good hand, and I put it lengthways across my knuckles. I tape it in place and put the other downwards, from my middle finger towards my wrist. We tape that down as well, before grabbing the fabric Ember liberated and wrapping the whole thing in black. We tape it all down, leaving my fingertips exposed. I put a board on the other side of my hand, the palm and make sure it’s secured. We then cover the whole thing in silver tape, making sure it’s definitely suck. By now, the pain’s started to kick in, and someone hands me some meds. I swallow the pills dry.

“Shall we continue?”

“Are you shitting me? Your friend just broke your hand, and you’re ready to go again and do something equally as dangerous?”

“I’ll go to the ER when we get out of here. I’ll tell them we were caught in the woods or something. I’m fine. It’s not actually that bad.”

“You’re nuts,” says Jack, shaking his head in disbelief. “I can’t even…”

I walk outside the way I usually do, not displaying anything different. I stride up to Mason and smile.

“You were wrong too. You said before that you were watching out for Thomas because he can hit? So can I. I taught him everything he knows.”

I slam my good hand underneath his jaw, and he grimaces and stumbles back.

“Next time, just wrench my little finger.”

We sit back in the chairs, and Ember stands.

“I would like to give a little background to this one. Prior to contrary belief, I have never had an eating disorder or any form of psychological problem related to loss of quality of life. I have had anxiety for a few years, and I’ve been able to deal with it. However, there’s been a rumor I’ve been a regular self-harmer, and that’s not true. Therefore, if we’re proving all the rumors about us right today, and I’m looking at you, Seraph, it seems more appropriate than usual.”

She looks around at us all, and shakes her head.

“Never have I ever self-harmed.”

She walks into the kitchen and brandishes a knife. I step backwards involuntarily, and she just laughs before dragging her sleeve up. We all step away, granting her a little privacy as she slides the knife across her skin. She draws the blade back up, spattered with red, and throws it end over end, slamming into the seam of the fence at the other end of the garden.

She rips the bottom of her shirt and ties it around her forearm. She looks at us all as we stare in shock, and sighs.

“You can look away now. The freak show is going to sit back down.”

“If we’re doing things with personal significance, I’ve always liked to flirt with death. Apparently he’s gorgeous,” says Jack, and I look at him accusingly. He just smiles. “I’ve enjoyed, within the comfort of my own home, seeing how close I can get just by sitting on the floor watching horror movies and scaring the shit out of myself. With the heart monitor shrieking and all. So I’m gonna hope to God I’m that lucky again, and I can avoid actually dying. Never have I ever had a heart attack.”

We watch in anxious silence, before the heart monitor starts beeping and Ember takes charge.

“Celia, prepare for if it stops. Seraph, go into my room. There’s a low-voltage taser we can use if we need a defib. Thomas, go get some aspirin. Mason, if you have any fancy ideas from being a paramedic, now would be the time.”

“You forgot to ask if he’s on meds.”

“He’s not on meds. I’ve known this bitch for a really long time. You hear that, Fields? Do. not. Die on me!”