Murder Me Not

I Found You

"What the hell is going on?" Jace asked as he walking to the office, his hands in his pocket.

Magnus fiddled with the cuff on his ear, anxious. "Alec just... he just lost it for a moment. And then he... left?"

Jace glared. "Why didn't you go after him?"

Ragnor cleared his throat angrily. "He was in shock. I thought it was obvious. Alec just up and raced out of here. It was a little shocking," the white haired man drawled.

"Did he say where he was going?" Jace asked. Magnus could tell he was getting frustrated. Magnus wasn't sure how he was supposed to react. He was worried. God, he was more than worried. He had seen him throw things, yell, pace. But never just leave. There was that one time when Alec was assigned to protect him, but since then, Magnus was so sure that Alec trusted him enough to talk to him.

Magnus sighed. "I don't know, Jace. He didn't tell me." He swallowed thickly. "Has he done this before?"

Jace raised an eyebrow. "You mean Alec losing his shit and storming out? Yeah, he used to do it at least twice a week when he first came home. Don't think too badly of him, I'm sure he just went for a walk to clear his head."

Magnus glared at the blonde. "I could never think badly of Alexander. I've just never had to deal with something like this before. I get dealing with deaths and grief and self-blame, but PTSD? I've only ever experienced the nightmares. I don't... I don't understand how to help him. How do I help him?" Magnus asked, practically pleading for Jace to have an answer.

Ragnor looked defeated, eternally sad for Magnus and everything that he had gone through. Ragnor, along with Cat and Raphael, were the ones who pulled Magnus out of his crippling depression. They were the ones that saved Magnus from himself and all he wanted was to be able to save Alec.

Jace gave him a strange look, one he couldn't decipher. "I know it's only been, like, a week or so, but Alec is already different. He seems lighter, somehow. Sometimes I see glimpses of the Alec he was before he went to war. You're helping my brother find his way home, Magnus. Just keep doing whatever it is that you've been doing."

"I don't know what I've been doing! Don't you understand? I don't know. I have no idea what I'm doing!" Magnus shouted, irritation building in him.

Jace chuckled. "Yeah, well, Alec has no idea either. I'll take you home when you're ready, he's probably already on his way there."

Magnus took a deep breath. "What if he isn't?"

"Then I'll wait with you until he is," Jace promised.

***

He wasn't there. He wasn't there in the morning, either. Magnus was beginning to panic. He wanted to think that Jace was too, but he didn't seem concerned in the slightest.

***

(A/N: I know basically nothing about West Point...will be inaccurate... sorry)

West Point was just as Alec remembered, the hard instructors, the even harder classes, the uniformity, the order of it all. Those were the things he missed the most, the predictability and routine of it all.

He was so relieved to see it again. His time at West Point were some of the best years of Alec's life. He had made so many amazing friends here, and now most of them were dead.

Alec felt guilt coiling in his stomach. It wasn't only for his unit... but for Magnus too. Alec couldn't believe that he just left like that. He regretted it the moment he got in the car and drove out of the city.